I’ve been reflecting on WHY have I been PROCRASTINATING about what I said I was going to do two weeks ago…..start having you all be my accountability partners with writing this book…..THAT IS GOING TO BE SUCH A BLESSING for me, for you, for soooo many!
And the realization is….resistance, fear, vulnerability…and so much more!
Sometimes we resist what God is asking of us because the enemy has whispered lies of fear in our heads…..lies like: if you allow yourself to be that transparent you will be vulnerable to hurt, shame, pain, and so much more! But those are LIES.
Now recognize it could be as simple as laziness on my part….but I do know last week was super busy for me with my daughters theater stuff….and spring break this week….so I am able to recognize it’s not laziness….and it’s not a matter of not having the time….it was resistance….it was fear….it was realizing, even though I have shared SOOO much about myself to you all and to others….actually putting it into an order and reflecting on it and realizing all the little things I hadn’t remembered until I started to really do this….well it was a lot for me to handle.
THEN….I realized…..I was trying to live in MY WILL…..MY POWER…..and it was GOD who said for me to do this…..SO I NEED TO PLACE THIS IN HIS POWER….HIS WILL….and it will unfold as HE wants it to happen….and the continued healing it will produce will be profound!
Thus with NO FURTHER RESISTANCE….FEAR….OR SHAME….I bring you the INTRODUCTION of my story….the story that will one day….soon….be in a book :)….
Essential Drops of love, hugs, and prayers always,
There are 3 profound moments in my life that stick out in my head that have contributed to the healing from my past sexual abuses and choices.
The first one was me driving back and forth to work each day for months listening to Christopher Wests, “Naked without Shame” book. I had it on CD and I couldn’t get enough of what he was saying. Even though there was so much of it that was truly beyond my comprehension because this was his very first teachings on theology of the body. His first attempt to bring St. JPII teachings on how beautifully made we are and how our sexuality should be nurtured, respected, and loved, well it was lofty. It wasn’t something very digestible. Yet there was something within me that heard the truth. There was something inside of me that felt all the shame, pain, hurt, and abuse melting away. There was a freedom with these words and I wanted to know more.
The second profound moment would come over 10 years later. A dear friend, Jennifer, asked me if for my Birthday gift she could give me a Splankna session. She had been sharing with me about this for almost a year but I still didn’t fully grasp what it was. I understood it had to do with dealing with healing, uncovering memories, etc. But even after reading the book about it, I still wasn’t real clear on it. I even had another friend, who is grounded in my faith of Catholicism help me to discern if it was something I should even do. (More about Splankna in the end notes) She was skeptical at first, which is what I was counting on, but after reading the book, she even said: it’s Christ centered, there is nothing I see wrong with it. So I dived in and said yes to a session.
That first session of many many more to come unearthed a wound that I still had from the one time I did use my voice out loud and said NO to a sexual abuse situation and actually said something to others about it. I really thought I had moved past that one.
The second profound moment should really be broken into a two-fold because it was the session combined with essential oils that made me a believer. After the session there were several oils that Jennifer recommended to help the healing process of that wound. When I used those oils that day and throughout the rest of the week I had the most profound healing experience with the support of the oils in a way I had never felt before.
This is the thing, at that point I had been using essential oils for well over 5 years. I knew their amazing physical support. I had experimented with several different brands but I had NEVER experienced what I had experienced emotionally with an oil as I did with these oils. That’s when I knew this brand (which ironically God had been planting a seed in me through this friend for about a year) was different. It was truly truly going to provide the support I needed on this journey of healing: mind body soul spirit!
The third profound moment didn’t take nearly as long to experience, I believe it actually only took place about a year later when I attended a Healing the Whole person retreat with a totally different friend. The second friend mentioned above, had attended this same retreat the year before and it had made such a profound impact on her and her life. I personally thought I was going to learn more about the retreat and to be a vessel for others. Oh wow my ignorance and even my silly pride of thinking God wasn’t going to show me exactly why I was there.
When I first showed up to the retreat as we were checking in and being greeted by the retreat team I am staring straight at a very familiar face. This was odd to me because I was attending this retreat NOT in the town I lived in at the time. I was attending it miles and miles and miles away for the whole purpose to have anonymity. I blog, I present, I do lots of things in the public, I am not afraid to share my life and story but I felt like I was supposed to be somewhere where no one knew me to have this weekend. Well obviously God had other plans.
Then when I saw some of the other participants who were attending I was convinced I knew why I was supposed to be there. I am sure at this point God was truly laughing at me. But also surrounding me with ALL the angels and saints to hold me for the doozy I would feel and experience that weekend.
As the weekend unfolded I started to see clearly why I was there. I started to see the pain, the anger, the hurt, but most of all the FEAR that the enemy had held me under for more years than I could count. I had no idea I was so consumed by fear and all the names and colors fear was hiding and masquerading under until this beautiful soul sister, who I knew from my hometown, helped me see it clearly that weekend.
At the end of that weekend when Dr. Bob asked if anyone would like to come up to share any testimony about their experience I felt the Holy Spirit nudge me, I felt Jesus holding my hand, and I heard God say “Bring it to the Light”.
Those three profound moments, events, gave me the courage to see, hear, feel, and speak the truth: That I had experienced sexual abuse over a span of about 20 years in one form or another. And that I WAS BEAUTIFULLY WONDERFULLY MADE. That my sexuality was to become un-distorted by my traumas. That I had a right to stare the enemy in the eye and say: no more, you will not feed me anymore lies.
This book is about that journey. I pray you will join me on this joyous journey. Because trust me that is what it is. I am not saying it won’t hurt from time to time, but the freedom to see the mark is too great of a delight to pass up. To find freedom in your sexuality and heal is so profound that it’s worth some of the growing pains. Because through that pain you find power.
I tried to figure out how I was to write this for so long. Then God showed me clearly how to do this. Each chapter will be dedicated to a specific experience or event that shaped and molded my distorted image of my sexuality. Experiences that distorted my love for myself. That distorted how God designed us to be. These will be the main ones that have impacted my self-worth in my head and heart. It’s not all of them, I am sure, but they are truly the ones that I know layered the development of my distorted love of self and my sexuality. Within each chapter I will share hope and healing. I will include Saints, scriptures, and essential oils that can support that particular abuse situation.
Before we begin let’s understand the definition of sexual abuse. How many of us think of all the horrific things only? But did you know sexual abuse is: lude looks, sexual harassment, rape, pornography, exposure to sexual content at too early of an age, unwanted touches, unwanted sexual talk, and so much more. If any of this has happened to you, you have experienced sexual abuse!
Rest assured this book is not going to be about graphic descriptions of what took place. It is about providing the right kind of details to create understanding of why any of us need to heal and feel whole from this sort of situation, trauma, and abuse.
We were made for so much more than glossy prints, for others sexual lustful desires, and selfish acts of take. A take that can be done physically, emotionally, mentally, and or spiritually.
Finally my greatest desire with this book is bring out the light of truth of what true sexual freedom is. And to stomp out the lies the enemy whispers in our ears to keep us in the dark. The lies of shame, the lies that we are dirty, the lies that our bodies are broken. Be that light with me by using your voice to shout at the mountain top: I WAS MADE FOR MORE. To shout in a building: I AM BEAUTIFULLY WONDERFULLY MADE. And to shout while sitting: MY SEXUALITY IS A GIFT FROM GOD.
Are you ready to start a whole Hope Healing Health journey?!
When you start with me you’re not just receiving oils. You receive personal care, coaching, support, private content and so much more!
My website is http://www.mydoterra.com/kellyfrick
There are several great ways to start up! I will schedule a welcome call with you and get you some welcome goodies mailed right away!
Want to know more?
Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org