Has Rape Become Normalized?

I have been unplugging for the month of October.  I purposely turned off all my social media. Deleted the apps even and have not checked anything.

It has been refreshing.

I did this with the intent to regroup, restore, and refocus.  I knew I was in a transition, a season of change and I wanted to have no distractions so I could really hear what God had to say to me.

Now I have been on YouTube… but I don’t view that as social media because I use it for research, watching some amazing faith content, and personal growth content.  For me, I don’t engage in it.  I just watch what I want to watch. I don’t even scroll or read people’s comments.

Well, the other night I was catching up on some of my favorite YouTubers.  Learning about what is going on with the Church. Catching up on what is going on in the world and what is going on in the news.

I was horrified when I listened and watched about a rape that took place in Philidelphia on a train and how 10 people…..let me repeat this 10 people…..stood by on this train with many stops between the 40 minutes…..as they watched… and some even recorded this EVIL crime take place.

No one did anything for 40 minutes!!!  They didn’t yell at the guy.   They didn’t try to group together and stop him together.  They didn’t even call 911!!!


I wept!

I will not lie…..I wept.  I couldn’t believe that our society has gone so far as to just stand by and watch evil take place in front of them.

Being a woman with past traumas (more than I care to count)….NOT ONE OF THEM WAS PUBLIC!

The healing I’ve worked through is not owning my traumas, not sitting in victimhood, and truly learning to love the skin I am in.  I have had to repair my relationship with my body,  my relationship with food, relationships with everything in my life.  

BUT….I didn’t have the added trauma and horror of knowing that others were watching the evil take place and THEY DID NOTHING! I didn’t have to try to add that to my healing.

MY HOPE…..is knowing GOD can redeem all! 

 I remember when I heard Christopher West give some of his testimony not only on a video series but at a live event about how witnessing his roommate at college rape a girl in their dorm room late at night was his turning point of how he was not honoring God with the beauty of his sexuality.  How he himself was allowing himself to use and be used.  

Maybe just maybe all 10 of these bystanders will wake up and realize they MUST change how they view and participate in this amazing world.  As well as how they view themselves.

Because this is my humble and deep belief… when we believe our own selves are unworthy of TRUE LOVE AND RELATIONSHIP with our amazing God……then we don’t even love our own self.  And if we can’t love ourselves how can we recognize that someone around us is worthy of that same true love and dignity.

My absolute first prayer in this evil is that this woman who was stripped of her dignity, made to feel worthless and in a crowd, will choose healing on the journey she has ahead of her.  I will pray she is able to not let the scars become deeper and close herself off to God….to not close herself off to loving herself…..and not close herself off to relationships that are holy and true.

My next prayers are for the ones who were bystanders to repent of having participated in the evil by doing nothing and may it transform their lives in glorifying God.

And probably the hardest prayer…..but I believe the most powerful one because I have done this with each of the men in my life who violated my dignity…..I will pray that this man who chose to allow such evil to consume his mind, body, soul that he acted upon this evil…..I will pray that he has a conversion so powerful that he actually becomes a warrior for Christ just as Saul converted from his evils to become who we know as St. Paul!

May your day be filled with hope and healing on your whole health journey of loving the skin you are in!

Hugs and prayers always,


Anger: God or Sin?

Anger can sometimes be a huge motivator.  We are not talking about the vengeful anger that is driven by sin….but the anger that is actually from God.  The anger that has us pause and want to have a voice for the innocent within this world.  The anger that turns us to not be silent about grave wrongs and injustices.


God has pressed upon my heart for many years to write a book.  But He didn’t give me direction.  I trusted that my not starting it wasn’t because I wasn’t motivated or lazy it was because I didn’t have its purpose, its passion, laid out yet.

Then last month He revealed to me EXACTLY the outline…..even got the introduction written.  I realized that He had been fine tuning me, disciplining me in showing up to write through this blog.  He also showed me how many blog writers end up taking part of what they have written over the years to turn into a book.  As well as many bloggers purposefully using their blog to be their “first draft” of their book to fine tune and get it to the final piece of art.

Needless to say I wasn’t fully heeding His words about the using this blog to fine tune my book….I was still trying to live in my will of thinking I needed to work on this book on the side, while writing here different yet similar content.

Then 2 things happened this week:

  1. Realizing that in a way, you all are my accountability partners of making sure I get this message of Hope and Healing out there.


  1. A horrible evil took place to someone I dearly love that saddened my heart so severely that I found myself weeping for almost 24 hours off and on…..and I still find myself weeping….

But now…..I’m angry!  I am angry the way God wants me to be…..angry to take action.

So what does taking action mean for me:  Using my voice to share MY STORY!

My story of sexual brokenness and distortion through my abuses, rapes, and own choices.  By me being silent and not getting off my butt to write this book I am as the quote goes…. “the only way for evil to conquer (win) is for good men to do nothing….”  Or something like that…..I am terrible with quotes :)…..

So starting next week…..and who knows how often, but I am convicted to share with you each week a chapter of the book….so a chapter maybe spread out through several days…..I am not sure yet…..I guess it just depends on how long each chapter is.  Since I have the introduction already written I will probably start with that next week…..

But I do know there will be life stuff going on in the middle of things I will want to still share so I will probably post those in-between as well…..and I will distinguish in the title or in the first line which it is…..but my focus will be the book and getting this message out there for women to be empowered!

With that……

Do you know someone who has been hurt, abused, raped…..the innocence of their sexuality distorted and used for evil?  If so…..please share with them this blog to help them walk through the healing process.  Encourage them to find help: professional, spiritual, personal.  Be an ear for them!  And don’t ask too many questions….just be that rock for them….and get them to talk to you…to someone!

Please have an amazingly blessed day.  And when you find GOD convicting you about something, feeling anger toward an evil, don’t let it become a sin, instead let it become your motivation to be the change of HOPE in this world!

Essential Drops of love, hugs, and prayers always,

Kelly 🙂

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#Me Too…

I am terrible with keeping up with what’s going on in the media, news, etc….  I have NO IDEA the who what where when why of the #me too.

What I do know is I saw it on a loved ones FB page and I chose to also share it.  After all, I know God has called me to make my life an open book for all.

Anyone who stumbles across my facebook page or here on this blog will learn 3 things about me:

  • I am passionate about empowering women.

  • I share about the connection of traumas and health.

  • I connect essential oils to ALL aspects of life: mind, body, soul, spirit.




I imagine the purpose of the #me too,  is to create awareness….I get it.

BUT….I think the #ME TOO….needs more!  It needs a voice, encouragement, details, action!

What do I mean?

I have learned over the years the more I talk openly about my sexual traumas, abuses, and choices (not every cruel detail, but not so vague as just a ME TOO)…..the more I speak about it… the more I heal.  Each time its a little different, depending on the circumstances, the person, will depend on the detail, the angle I recall.

Every time I am asked to speak at a women’s event to share my testimony.…it’s empowering…freeing.

Thus the enemy loses his clutches. His lies have less to no impact.  I am able to walk out from under the shadow of shame, feeling dirty, ugly, and so much more.

There are many things women CAN do to empower themselves to prevent and/or heal.

In addition to:

  • Prayer
  • Oils
  • Tapping
  • retreats
  • splankna
  • therapies

There are TWO things I think are absolutely a bedrock for women to feel empowered:

TOB:  The more a woman knows and understands the beauty of her human sexuality, the less likely she will fall for the lies to compromise her dignity.  When we are weakened in our mind about our body we are weakened in our spirit and body.  This makes us vulnerable to be used and abused.

BJJ: There is something very spiritual and empowering with this form of exercise, martial arts.  Short version you become VERY COMFORTABLE, EMPOWERED, IN THE UNCOMFORTABLE.

I have always loved intense workouts.  Having weight lifted since I was 18.  I love the  force of moving something; pushing my muscles and body in ways that I didn’t think possible.  I’ve loved the fluid stretching and core strength from Pilates.  I relish the stamina I receive from walking, biking, and when I use to run.  They have all gained me confidence in my mind body soul spirit journey of loving the body I’m in.  They have nurtured my healing and finding peace with my past….BUT….not ONE of them prepared me for protecting me.

I have taken defense classes and dabbled with other martial art modalities in the past….but NONE OF THEM….have what I believe BJJ has (in my opinion)….

When you train in BJJ: whether its with a video, a gym, with a gi, no gi, competition, no competition….each form of BJJ teaches you to find peace and confidence in being comfortable in the uncomfortable.

Let me explain….

you are laying on the mat, a person has you pinned….they are 2-3 times your size…sweat dripping on you…they are breathing heavy in your face….

you have a choice:

  • Panic, struggle, exhaust yourself…or…
  • pause…dig deep within to WAIT….find your opening….ESCAPE!


It’s the same as the bible story….YOU OUTSMART THEM!

BJJ is not about brute force….it’s art….strategy….chess….

OWNING YOUR SPACE….confidence in your skin!!!!

When you combine TOB AND BJJ…

  • You can’t help but experience the amazing power of being A WONDERFUL WARRIOR WOMAN!
  • You can’t help but heal from trauma.
  • you can’t help but empower yourself/armor yourself against hurt, pain, trauma.

This duo has something for every woman.  I love that they have been there for me through my healing. 

I am no where near where I would like to be with BJJ….heck I’ve been an “in and out” student of it for a little over a year now but I see the power of it.  I have to be mindful about my inflammation and go slower with it than I would like but I KNOW it’s amazing power (mind, body, soul, spirit) that I don’t want to give up on my BJJ journey.

I love that this duo is powerful for my daughter. 

My prayer is that she WILL NEVER…

be a woman posting #ME TOO!!!

How about you?  What’s going to be your #hashtag going to read?  #HOPE? #EMPOWERED? #HEALED? #BELOVED? #CHERISHED #NOT A VICTIM? #WARRIOR

Sit…pray…oil up…tap…..and connect to your amazing healing and health of your mind, body, soul, spirit journey!

hugs and prayers always dear beloved ones….

Kelly 😉


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