Numb…anger…sorrow!

Raw and real moment!

I have been tapping more the last 3 days than I probably average in 30 days!

My father passed away on Tuesday morning….and the emotions I have experienced have been extreme and everywhere.

I was on my way to see him on Sunday but while traveling I received a call that he was in the heart hospital to have some tests done.

He has a history of heart stuff and multiple stints so no surprise other than knowing that if he was doing this on a Sunday he definitely wasn’t feeling well.

The first emotion I had was frustration. I had not seen my father in over a year and due to the protocols with hospitals right now I was not going to be allowed to go in and see him.

Monday they determined he needed another stint. They did the procedure and the thought was he would be able to come home that evening….buuut…..there was more bleeding than expected from the spot.

So second major emotion….anger that he had to be in a hospital alone….he is a social person…he thrives on others spending time with him! His top love languages were time and touch.

They decided to keep him another night. Now none of this stopped me from being creative to see him.

I had a care package delivered to his room and arranged with the floor nurse to open his window so we could sing to him and cheer him up. It was so much fun and I’m so grateful to have had that as his last moments with us.

Tuesday morning THE call came early…..my mom comes out to the kitchen as I was making my coffee…..she hands me the phone and says she doesn’t know what to do.

The nurse on the other end is explaining to me that they are giving him CPR but if they stop his heart will stop what does my mom want to do.

I tell her I will call her back as I talk to my mom….knowing that it won’t come to that cause sure enough the nurse calls back within in minutes and let’s me know that they had to call the time of death.

Next emotion…numb…I didn’t truly have time to truly feel anything cause my mom needed me. My time would have to wait. So I tapped some more.

Tuesday night as I got ready for bed….deep sorrow….gut wrenching sobs….but I only allowed some to come…..why?! Cause I knew if I lost it right then I didn’t know if I would return….

It was a choice to pause the sorrow….right or wrong….it was a choice I made…..

Wednesday was about processing…being with family….and trying super hard to stay present in the moment so I could truly feel all the emotions and not stuff them away….

I know it hasn’t truly fully hit me…..

But today we meet with the Funeral Home….we find out when we can actually have the funeral and then coordinate it with the church and due to again all the protocols that have been put into place due to this last year…..we are stuck with anger….

Anger that his last days were in-humane…..anger that his family and friends won’t get to have the closer they deserve….anger that he died alone without family!

So I tap…..and I find the gratitude of the having had 46 years with him….gratitude that he was the gentle soul he was….and gratitude that we did have some amazing memories.

So this next year will probably look different how I blog, post on social media, and even how I coach…..because I know if I’m willing to share with you in the moment what I’m experiencing maybe just maybe I will be able to help someone else who is going through something similar or who is still trying to process the emotions of losing a loved one.

I know my postings probably will be hit and miss for awhile and that too will be part of my willingness to continue to be raw and real with you’ll.

As you spend your last day of 2020….please reflect on all your blessings don’t take for granted one moment with family, friends, community.

But don’t also beat yourself up over “what if’s”…..or “should of”……

Instead move through the emotions……feel them….release yourself….and be present in the healing process.

Your mind body soul spirit will thank you for it!

Many blessings and hugs dear ones!
Kelly 💜

I Love Me!

I hear women (friends, family, clients…even strangers)……tell me all the time they don’t love themselves…

They don’t like this about themselves….etc.

BUT…..they will when they reach a certain physical goal….

REALLY?!

Cause let me tell you what 10 years ago I had what I thought was a dream come true: thigh gap!

And I was miserable!

What I didn’t know was I had obtained that thigh gap because of a thyroid and adrenal malfunction…..my body was literally burning itself up!

All I knew at the time was I had finally achieved a coveted goal….and I still didn’t love myself!

And when my body started to heal….I started to put muscle mass back on…..I started to look healthier and feel healthier…..yet I still didn’t love me!

How I started to truly love me…..no matter what I looked like….was connecting to my inner me….my soul…..and really working on my self talk….my mindset….

I started pulling out ALL the tools in my toolbox…..and went to work on my TRUE healing of SELF LOVE!

I can honestly say I LOVE ME!

This doesn’t mean I don’t have physical goals. This doesn’t mean I don’t have health goals.

What this means is I don’t judge me!
I don’t compare me!
I don’t bully me!

I only love me….and the skin that I’m in!

Are you ready to TRULY love you?!

Hugs and prayers always,

Kelly 😘

STOP the Stress & Anxiety of today!

Today is going to be full of many emotions…

We have choices with those emotions.

Use your tools of prayer, tapping, aromatherapy, grounding, journaling, walks, anything that will bring you peace in your heart and soul!

Hugs and prayers always,

Kelly 😘

Just Say NO!

Do you struggling with saying NO to others?

I want you to think about every time you say yes to everyone else you are saying NO to you!

You’re saying NO to your health, NO to your dreams, NO to your goals!

This is not selfish….this is true self care!

The more we say YES to us and our needs the more we are able to shine and be the best version of our self for others….therefore spreading amazing love and light!

Oils that help us with saying NO:

💜Clove -helps us maintain boundaries

💜Spearmint- helps us speak up; use our voice.

💜Bergamot- helps us have the confidence to believe in ourself and in our needs.

💜Grapefruit- helps us remember we are to love ourselves.

Which oil helps you say NO to others so you can say YES to you?

40 Days to Freedom

If you have hung out with me here for any amount of time you know I am a huge advocate of all types of fasts: Spiritual, Nutritional, Absolute, Intermitent….etc.

File Feb 14, 12 18 17 PM

For me it does not matter what type of fast I go into it is always taken into prayer…..and sometimes it is actually given to me through prayer and then me re-taking it into prayer so I can hear clearly what I am supposed to be doing.

But one of the biggies I usually do with a fast is I usually do not share with many people;  usually only 1 or 2 are brought into it.  And that is because it was spoken into me shortly after my huge transformation with fasting in the beginning.  God pressed it into my heart that all fasts forward were to remain private unless told otherwise.

Well here I am years later Him telling me loud and clear…..this one is too big for you….you need to be united with others….lots of others.

Why?

Because there is a HUGE DISCONNECT with who we are as people and in our healing.

There are sooo many hurting people turning to sooo many different types of addictions (drugs, alcohol, pornography, food, shopping, apathy, body…etc).   And why?  To avoid the work of healing.  And why?  Because healing is hard work!

Healing means you have to be willing to go THROUGH the pain….not around it.

Healing means you have to open your eyes to and bring to the front what you have been avoiding.

So on September 2-October 12, I will be entering into a fast that is intentional in praying for people who are struggling with addictions.

I think we probably ALL know someone who is burdened by addiction.  Who has been enslaved by the lies of its soothing denial of the truth.

I can’t do this alone.

So regardless if you enter into a fast or just add extra prayers during those 40 days….are you open to add the intentional prayers for those struggling with addictions?

When we CONNECT our prayers and spirits together we truly CAN move mountains!

Have an amazingly blessed day and labor day weekend!

My hugs and prayers are always with each and every one of you!

blessings,

Kelly 😉

PS…want to learn all about the types of fasts?  Just do a search here on my blog with the keyword ‘fasting” and you’ll come up with ALL the times I have written about fasting and the ways we can approach this powerful spiritual and physical tool!

PPS….check out the updates in the tabs above…..some awesome stuff ;)!!!

 

Save the Date

Good morning!

Can you believe it….Easter is tomorrow 🙌!

A quick reminder for all you lovely’s who live locally to me….save your seat…..there is going to be not only the regular drawing but a special something for EVERYONE to take home!!!

Sooo…even if you’re not local it’s a great place to come visit 😘😘😘…

I hope you will be able to join me for Mays wellness workshop all about the 4 systems that an AromaTouch technique is addressing and supporting!!!

www.facebook.com/events/2292507714356225/

On a separate note…..I had some serious aha’s and thoughts these last few days during Holy Thursday mass and Good Friday services!

I look forward to sharing more with you soon!

Until then…you’ll have an amazingly blessed Easter tomorrow and remember to always….

Sit….pray….journal…tap….and oil up each day for the transformation you seek!!

Hugs and blessings always,

Kelly

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