Bossy Boys

It’s been soo weird going back through all of this junk to write this book!  Because this is the thing….I don’t hate nor dislike ANY of my abusers.  And actually I have them ALL on my prayer list.  I truly lift them all up in prayer and with love.  True love.

I’ll admit part of me has wanted to retreat in fear that I am going to make someone angry, be accused of hurtful things, etc…..but that is exactly what the enemy wants.  I have not ever included anyone’s names purposely.  Because this isn’t about them.  This is about my healing, my journey, and me helping YOU.

And really these men, boys, in my life were just as much a victim, a pawn.  They had their own wounds to heal from.  And we all have choices on how we heal or hide from our wounds, our sins, our hurts.

So I hold nothing but love in my heart for these boys.  I didn’t just arrive to this love….it took time…but I am so grateful for how free I feel today in knowing that my 20 years of all forms of sexual abuse DO NOT DEFINE ME and that I am able to truly see HOW BEAUTIFULLY WONDERFULLY MADE I AM!!

I pray this chapter (below) will create healing in your health journey, especially if there is any aspect of it that speaks to your heart!

Many blessings and prayers always,

Kelly 🙂

chapter 5

CHAPTER 5:

BOSSY BOYS

When I was 12 I had the opportunity to start earning a little bit of money busing tables.  It was a small town.  My mom was friends with the owner of the restaurant.  Add to it, it was the early 80’s who knows what the child labor laws were.  I grew up going to this restaurant all the time.  So it wasn’t a huge stretch me working there eventually.  My brother did odd jobs off and on for my parents in their business but I didn’t want to work for my parents.  I loved the hustle and bustle of the restaurant.  It again was a great place to observe people and listen to conversations.  I really admired the head waitress and wanted to work with her.  Now the owner had two boys who were friends with my brother.

These boys were truly wild.  They were mean and sweet all in the same breath.  I had fun hanging out with my brother and his friends most of the time.  I soon discovered that like my brother’s other friend, they too were exposed to porn.  But the porn they had access to was not only everywhere, their house, at the restaurant, in their dad’s truck, but it was pretty hard core stuff for in the 80’s.

Like I mentioned, these boys were intense.  When they could be really sweet but when they fought it was like nothing I had ever witnessed before.  I truly would get scared sometimes being around them.  Not wanting to ever be on their bad side.

Now I loved working there at the restaurant but it was also a home away from home for me.  I would hang out in the back room even when I didn’t have a shift.  There was always great snacks there and a tv room and privacy.  My parents printing business was sometimes too loud for me and this back room was a nice place to study, write, think and take naps.

The problem was sometimes when I took naps there I would be woken by someone touching me.  I would lay there frozen praying they would just stop and go away.  I knew it was one or both of the boys.  And having seen them fight before I would find myself wondering if I would be the target of them “beating” on me if I resisted.  But there was also another thing that held me back.  A sensation that confused me.  I didn’t understand it.  In hindsight I am able to understand we were made for desire and it is a natural physical response to want touch. The problem was their touches were not from God they were from their own abuse of being exposed to porn.  This went on for a while before I realized they weren’t going to stop, so I no longer had a safe escape in the back room.  This also created another layer of shame and ugliness I felt about myself.

I stayed working at that restaurant from the ages of 13-18.  I just never allowed myself to be in the back room ever again with the boys.  But my year’s waitressing just further exposed me to pats, grabs, lingering hands and innuendos while I poured refills of coffee to the “grumpy old men” club during the mid-morning or mid-afternoon.  They would do these things in the middle of me pouring when I was at my most vulnerable because I never wanted to spill, make a mess, or burn any of them.  This reinforced my unworthiness and shame.

Console, Marjoram, and Clove together will provide the comfort to unburden our pain so we can truly stand up for ourselves to trust ourselves to connect with others.

Console:  Sometimes we can feel anxious that an abuse will reoccur.  We aren’t able to find comfort. We need to grieve the loss of our innocence.  Console helps us unburden these pains.  To see our WHOLENESS through God’s eyes.

Cloves: This oil of Boundaries encourages us to let go of a victim mentality.  To stand up for ourselves.  To have the courage to say no.  It is especially helpful for breaking patterns of abuse.

Marjoram:  We were created for connection, community.  Trust is important to feel connected, to participate in life.  But when we have experienced an abuse, a trauma, that has shifted our heart and mind toward others, it is hard to truly feel connected.  Marjoram will open our hearts and soul to make the connection to trust, to heal.

Diffuse these three oils together or create a roller bottle so you can place them on pulse points.  These are especially powerful oils to tap with.  They will encourage amazing emotional release through your prayer and tapping.

Prayer:

Heavenly Father, I TRUST IN YOU! I don’t need to hold on to this pain, the anxious feelings that I will continue to be hurt.  I can be open to receive others love and still maintain healthy boundaries.  Boundaries doesn’t mean I am closed off from connecting to others as you designed us to.  Instead my boundaries are to ensure I am loved and treated as you desire us to be loved and treated.  I am beautifully and wonderfully made.  And I WILL NOT LET ANYONE TELL ME OTHERWISE, NOT EVEN MYSELF.  In your most holy name I break free from the burden of pain.  I am not a victim.  I do TRUST IN YOU.  Thank you….I love you….amen!

Console my Broken Heart

My heart is breaking.

I had so many things I wanted to share with all of you this Monday.  But I will save them for another day :).   Because there WILL be another day…lol.

Yesterday our parish priest shared how our Bishop is moving him to a different parish because he is needed there.  My heart breaks because we just got here.  I have truly fall in love with this priest in such a short four month period.  When he broke the news yesterday, my eyes welled….and I could barely speak about it during the day.  It created such a deep loss within me.  I went to Console and Bergamot to support me.

It had me pondering WHY!?  Why did I feel such loss?  And then it hit me….I HAD FULLY, VULNERABLY, WILLINGLY, FINALLY LET SOMEONE  INTO MY LIFE WITH NO GUARD, NO HESITATION!!! 

The realization that it hurt so deep was because I truly loved this man and all he has to give to his church, his congregation, with no reservation.  My wounds of past vulnerabilities had truly been healed.  And that gave me great joy.  

Then I had to remind myself to have that Godly detachment.  And again…I had accomplished that as well.  I was able to recognize that we cannot cling to things and people, only God is our true rock…..YET we are to love others with our WHOLE heart, mind, soul….this is not always easy…..right!?  Especially when we are wounded!

YET….I did it!  And that gave me amazing joy and peace!

So when you find yourself clinging to someone or something, reflect on why?  Give it to God.  And when you find yourself feeling great loss, give yourself the grace to to heal and move forward yet remember we must only cling to God!

As always….sit…pray…oil up…and tap through your day!!

Drops of blessings and hugs dear ones!

~Kelly 🙂

http://www.my.doterra.com/kellyfrick

PS…..Last week was abundantly full with my darling daughters theater schedule and this week will be as well due to it being production week, so there will more than likely be only one posting this week, but who knows…lol.  I am also going to stop trying to figure out the right “formula” of when and what to write for you all because that’s not being true to me, thus not true to you all!  But more about that soon ;)……Til then….

Have an amazingly blessed week!

One final note…..I would love to have you start up and join my team of warrior women changing their lives, their families lives, and the lives around them with the support of Essential Oils.  If this is something you are open to and it resonates with you please Facebook Message me or use my contact info in the “Services & Appointments” tab. I would be honored to work with you, support you, and connect with you!

Healing Crusader

Through this healing journey I have read many different healing stories: physical, spiritual, emotional… about Hashimoto’s, traumas, abuses….

Many of these warriors of healing are fallen away Catholics. 

This is unbearably sad for me.

There are many who leave other denominations as well.  But these are many of the reasons I have heard:

  • I didn’t have a personal relationship with Christ.
  • I didn’t feel welcomed.
  • It was too black and white.
  • There was judgment.
  • I didn’t feel accepted.

The list goes on….

And it breaks my heart!

I’ve been described as:

“She’s not your typical Catholic.” and “You won’t believe she’s Catholic.”

This is funny to me…but it’s true….and it’s also sad…..sad to me that more people haven’t encountered and/or experienced an Evangelical Catholic.  It’s sad to me that wounds, hurts, and differences have kept Catholics away or even driven them away.

The Catholic Church is not perfect…not by any means. No faith is!!! And this is NOT AN EXCUSE FOR ANY CHURCH TO BE ABUSIVE TO THEIR PARISHIONERS!

For me the Catholic Church  has a richness and depth and beauty that I can’t imagine being without it in my life.

Now you might be thinking I have never been hurt by the church or had a bad experience; so I can’t possibly know.  But actually I HAVE had plenty…

  • A priest once told me to come back to confession when I had real sins to confess.
  • Another ended confessions before I had my turn and said he didn’t have time for me…literally.
  • I have felt the tongue lashing of a parishioner telling me my daughter (then 3 years old) was not a “good girl” during mass.
  • I have experienced the politics that take place when working for the church.
  • I have observed and been on the receiving end of individuals in ministry (lay and priests) not conduct themselves with honor and dignity.

And more….

BUT this is the thing….this happens EVERYWHERE….with EVERY CHURCH!!!

Why!?

Because they are all ran by man.  And we are ALL flawed…sinners…human!  WE ARE ALL WOUNDED!!!

I wish I could look each and every wounded person in the eye ….who has left the church….hold them and say:

  • I AM SOOO SORRY WE DID NOT NURTURE YOU, FEED YOU, PROTECT YOU LOVE YOU ENOUGH!
  • I am SO SORRY your hurt was so great that you felt you had to flee.
  • I am SO SORRY that you felt you would not be heard.
  • I am SO SORRY you felt you couldn’t seek out someone else within the church to provide you comfort, encouragement, love, mercy….

I know I can’t change the past for these wounded but I pray they/you will one day be able to face the traumas and hurts felt from the Catholic Church.  I pray they/you find healing and peace.  I pray they/you have the personal relationship with Christ they/you sought after.  I pray they/you are being an instrumental disciple as He has called us all to be!

Today,  if you have left the Catholic Church, or left church period, I pray you take a moment to sit with your “why’s”.  Reflect within and ask:  Am I ready to heal from this wound?  Am I ready to break free from this bondage of pain?  Am I ready to be ALL HE CREATED ME TO BE!?  Some oils that can help you through this are: Console, Forgive, Hope, Deep Blue, Peace.

As always…sit…pray…oil up…..and tap about this….:)

Many drops of blessings dear beloved ones….

~Kelly 😉

http://www.my.doterra.com/kellyfrick

PS…..Are you open to learning how essential oils can support you?  I would be love to help you on this healing journey…..I would be honored to be your wellness/oils coach on this journey!  Message me through facebook, email, phone….let’s get started today!

PPS….ask me about my “Baby Steps Start up” that costs only $63 and you still have access to private content, coaching, support, and welcome package!

Funky Freedom

I was in a funk the week before last and I wasn’t sure why….

Then it dawned on me….it was coming up on the anniversary of my grandmothers death.

This is what I remember about that day….

I remember my hubby leaving out of town for the week due to work.  I remember my daughter and I having a latte date at Barnes and Nobles when I saw I had missed a call from my dad.  And I remember giving him a call back when I got home……and starting a load of laundry while I packed up knowing I was going to travel 4-5 hours that day to be with my dad and help him with all he needed to do.

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My grandmother died on my military service anniversary date.  Why is this important: she was Navy as well…..she and I were kindred spirits in sooo many ways.

Over the last few years I often find myself laughing when I do something because I realize how much like her I am!

I didn’t grow up spending hours and hours talking and baking with her but I always felt amazing love and acceptance from her.  I was able to be me.  I never felt like I had to prove anything to her.  I never got a lecture or a disappointed look about anything.  And if I entered her kitchen when she was cooking (which everyone else was always promptly kicked out) I never was chastised for being in the kitchen.

Now if you understand the prongs and complexity of Hashimotos, there is amazing studies, research, and evidence about how complicated Hashimotos is in how it is linked to our emotions and traumatic events.

My grandmothers death was the 3rd traumatic event my body endured in a 16-18 month period.  And I am able to understand it better today why her death was the tipping point of my thyroid storm.

My grandmother was my ONE SAFE person.

SHE LOVED ME AND ACCEPTED ME FOR ME!!!

I was always safe with her.  I never had to worry about harsh words form her or teasing or anything negative.  I truly don’t have a single negative memory with her.

I believe the little girl inside of me that was still needing to figure out how to heal from other traumas that were not revealing themselves yet…..well that little girl within felt panic…felt lost…..felt the rug pulled out from under her.

That little girl’s security blanket was gone…..so her body didn’t feel safe and went into disarray!

Even as I sit here writing this I feel amazing warmth thinking of her and profound loss because I realized everything I  am writing is so true.  This amazing light-bulb of realization and connecting the dots is profound, illuminating, and freeing!

Have you had an enlightened moment about a trauma in your life?  Have you had a moment to add just one more piece to the puzzle of your health?!  And have you found freedom in these realizations….revelations!?

Sit with this….pray about this…journal about it…..oil up and tap about it!

Today I’m oiling up with Console, Peace, and Cheer as I tap my thanks for having had a safe person in my life and still loving myself through others ways they can be hurtful through their words!

What are you going to oil up with and tap about!?

Many blessings, hugs, and prayers dear beloved ones!

~Kelly 🙂

http://www.mydoterra.com/kellyfrick

Healing with Console…

Console is the COMFORTING BLEND.  The oil of consolation.

What’s in it?File Mar 26, 5 15 08 PM

  • Frankincense
  • Patchouli
  • Ylang Ylang
  • Labdanum
  • Amyris
  • Sandalwood
  • Rose
  • Osmanthus

I have found that I really like understanding what oils are behind a blend.  What is it about the comforting blend that supports a person dealing with grief, loss, trauma, emotional pain, burdens, and even anxiety and restlessness, or feeling unsettled.

And when I look it up, since an oil can have many functions emotionally, I focus on what is the purpose of this oil in the blend?   So I am going to list the emotional component that relates to CONSOLE…..being of comfort.

  • Frankincense:  TRUTH…loved….protected….wisdom.
  • Patchouli:  PHYSICALITY…balance….present…stability….grounded.
  • Ylang Ylang:  INNER CHILD…grief….heart healing….loss of a loved one.
  • Labdanum: *This one is not in the emotions book because it is not available as a single. But that didn’t stop me….centered….peace….balance.
  • Amyris: *Also not in emotions book, nor available as a single.   Alleviate depression, lift spirit.
  • Sandalwood:  SACRED DEVOTION…emptiness…surrender…spiritual devotion/clarity.
  • Rose: DIVINE LOVE…healing…closed/broken heart.
  • Osmanthus: *Also not in emotions book, nor available as a single. Decrease negative mood/depression.

Today as I reflect with fond memories of having Sam in my life for a short 12 weeks, I enjoy what CONSOLE does to support me.  It provides protection, balance, healing, peace, lift, clarity, love, and wisdom.

What do you need comfort in?  Think about it….pray about it….write about it….share below about it!

Many blessings and hugs dear followers….friends…family….

~Kelly 😉

www.mydoterra.com/kellyfrick

 

Healing as a Warrior

Today I reflect on how healing is a journey.  I’ve come such a long way yet I know I have more work to do .  I remember dates and events that surround the moment that needs healing.  As many people are preparing for April Fools Day pranks/jokes, I  have a flash back of lying on a hospital bed.   Friday will be  the anniversary of me sitting in a doctors office feeling numb that my precious baby didn’t have a heart beat.  So today I lean on console to continue my healing journey.

I am so grateful to have an oil blend, CONSOLE, that will support my continual healing.  Because emotional hurts do resurface for all of us.  How we handle and process these emotions at whatever stage will either support our health on a healing path or hinder our healing path.

The pain isn’t stabbing like it once was.  Most of the time I feel great joy of the memories but I also have other emotions that get in the way.  After all the spirit of hurt and pain are not from God so they must be processed.  They must be cleared out.

What pain do you need to still process/work through:

  1. griefFile Mar 26, 5 08 38 PM
  2. loss
  3. trauma
  4. tragedy
  5. burden

Grab CONSOLE to find:

  1. comfort
  2. ease burdens
  3. serene heart
  4. emotional rest
  5. feeling whole

Sit with this…..pray about this…..write about this….and share below about this!

Many hugs and prayers dear followers….friends….family…

~Kelly 🙂

www.mydoterra.com/kellyfrick

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