Numb…anger…sorrow!

Raw and real moment!

I have been tapping more the last 3 days than I probably average in 30 days!

My father passed away on Tuesday morning….and the emotions I have experienced have been extreme and everywhere.

I was on my way to see him on Sunday but while traveling I received a call that he was in the heart hospital to have some tests done.

He has a history of heart stuff and multiple stints so no surprise other than knowing that if he was doing this on a Sunday he definitely wasn’t feeling well.

The first emotion I had was frustration. I had not seen my father in over a year and due to the protocols with hospitals right now I was not going to be allowed to go in and see him.

Monday they determined he needed another stint. They did the procedure and the thought was he would be able to come home that evening….buuut…..there was more bleeding than expected from the spot.

So second major emotion….anger that he had to be in a hospital alone….he is a social person…he thrives on others spending time with him! His top love languages were time and touch.

They decided to keep him another night. Now none of this stopped me from being creative to see him.

I had a care package delivered to his room and arranged with the floor nurse to open his window so we could sing to him and cheer him up. It was so much fun and I’m so grateful to have had that as his last moments with us.

Tuesday morning THE call came early…..my mom comes out to the kitchen as I was making my coffee…..she hands me the phone and says she doesn’t know what to do.

The nurse on the other end is explaining to me that they are giving him CPR but if they stop his heart will stop what does my mom want to do.

I tell her I will call her back as I talk to my mom….knowing that it won’t come to that cause sure enough the nurse calls back within in minutes and let’s me know that they had to call the time of death.

Next emotion…numb…I didn’t truly have time to truly feel anything cause my mom needed me. My time would have to wait. So I tapped some more.

Tuesday night as I got ready for bed….deep sorrow….gut wrenching sobs….but I only allowed some to come…..why?! Cause I knew if I lost it right then I didn’t know if I would return….

It was a choice to pause the sorrow….right or wrong….it was a choice I made…..

Wednesday was about processing…being with family….and trying super hard to stay present in the moment so I could truly feel all the emotions and not stuff them away….

I know it hasn’t truly fully hit me…..

But today we meet with the Funeral Home….we find out when we can actually have the funeral and then coordinate it with the church and due to again all the protocols that have been put into place due to this last year…..we are stuck with anger….

Anger that his last days were in-humane…..anger that his family and friends won’t get to have the closer they deserve….anger that he died alone without family!

So I tap…..and I find the gratitude of the having had 46 years with him….gratitude that he was the gentle soul he was….and gratitude that we did have some amazing memories.

So this next year will probably look different how I blog, post on social media, and even how I coach…..because I know if I’m willing to share with you in the moment what I’m experiencing maybe just maybe I will be able to help someone else who is going through something similar or who is still trying to process the emotions of losing a loved one.

I know my postings probably will be hit and miss for awhile and that too will be part of my willingness to continue to be raw and real with you’ll.

As you spend your last day of 2020….please reflect on all your blessings don’t take for granted one moment with family, friends, community.

But don’t also beat yourself up over “what if’s”…..or “should of”……

Instead move through the emotions……feel them….release yourself….and be present in the healing process.

Your mind body soul spirit will thank you for it!

Many blessings and hugs dear ones!
Kelly 💜

I Love Me!

I hear women (friends, family, clients…even strangers)……tell me all the time they don’t love themselves…

They don’t like this about themselves….etc.

BUT…..they will when they reach a certain physical goal….

REALLY?!

Cause let me tell you what 10 years ago I had what I thought was a dream come true: thigh gap!

And I was miserable!

What I didn’t know was I had obtained that thigh gap because of a thyroid and adrenal malfunction…..my body was literally burning itself up!

All I knew at the time was I had finally achieved a coveted goal….and I still didn’t love myself!

And when my body started to heal….I started to put muscle mass back on…..I started to look healthier and feel healthier…..yet I still didn’t love me!

How I started to truly love me…..no matter what I looked like….was connecting to my inner me….my soul…..and really working on my self talk….my mindset….

I started pulling out ALL the tools in my toolbox…..and went to work on my TRUE healing of SELF LOVE!

I can honestly say I LOVE ME!

This doesn’t mean I don’t have physical goals. This doesn’t mean I don’t have health goals.

What this means is I don’t judge me!
I don’t compare me!
I don’t bully me!

I only love me….and the skin that I’m in!

Are you ready to TRULY love you?!

Hugs and prayers always,

Kelly 😘

NO!!!

No!!!

How often do you say NO?

No I’m not available for that project…
No I’m not available to come out tonight…
No I don’t want to do that…..

We don’t say NO nearly as often as we should!

Every time you say yes to something you really don’t want to do or are not feeling passionate about you are saying NO to YOU!

This is especially true to our health needs and journey!

When I first started this true health healing journey I had to learn to say no…..and it was not easy!

My health coach at that time gave me an assignment…..to say no to EVERYTHING for one week to everything someone, anyone requested me to do…..with no explanation or excuse of why I’m saying no.

Oh that was hard!

But it was a pivotal point in my healing!

Did I make family and friends mad at me…oh yes!!!

But the more I spoke up to saying yes to me….the less I allowed others opinions or thoughts bother me….

And then I discovered the more I set these boundaries the more I respected myself and that energy and vibration started increasing within me and attracting only respect and understanding from those around me.

NO became the most powerful word in my life!

NO is now my favorite word!

How can you say NO to others in your life so you are saying YES to you and your healing journey?!

Hugs and blessings always,

Kelly 💜

Rest, Restore, Reconnect

On Sundays I love sitting in the bliss of knowing that God himself took a day of rest!

I think He did this for multiple reasons…

But I think the biggest one was to set the example to us.

When we don’t stop to reconnect with Him and ourselves for one day a week how can we possible remember to do the same just a little bit each day!

Having the discipline of truly unplugging from work, hustle and bustle, the world…..for just one day a week is more important than you can imagine!

I challenge you this advent to start truly setting aside a whole day that has you connecting to God and therefore yourself…

I know you will find how to better love yourself thus growing and strengthening your relationship with God….and as your grow in your relationship with God you grow in your self love! Do you see the beautiful cycle of hope and healing?!

Have a glorious Sunday!

Hugs and prayers always,

Kelly 💜

Merry Christmas 🎄!

We decided as a family a few weeks ago we were going to put Christmas up early!

It’s been interesting how many people I’ve read and heard are doing the same thing!

These are our reasons and how we are going to make sure Thanksgiving is still part of it and not crowded out:

We are going to create a gratitude jar that these little wooden hearts I have will have a gratitude written on them each day through Thanksgiving and even after….

Why we did it?

We wanted to have that very visual reminder that Christ is the reason for hope….for everything!

This year hasn’t been an easy one for anyone….and it’s naive for us to think it’s all just going to go away…..

There are days the heaviness of how divided we are as the body of Christ is very heartbreaking….and we as a family wanted to be reminded of how we are fighting the good fight….that His path is narrow and frustrating at times……but it is the path to true freedom….

Soooo we are celebrating the hope Christ represents….and how his coming years ago was for our salvation….

And His future coming is for our purification….atleast that’s how I see it…lol….

Anyways…..

Are you planning to put your Christmas tree and decorations up early?


Have you?!

And what is your reason why you have or haven’t?!

Many blessings and prayers always,

Kelly 😘

Does living in His Will always mean we enjoy it?

I have pondered this quote many times in my life….

And I think the emotions and the state of the world is a perfect example to understand this quote to its fullness…..

When we are living in Gods will….when our energy and frequency is in alignment with Him…..

When we are aligning our health, our life, to live the best version of ourself, we are thriving on this journey…..

But it doesn’t mean we always enjoy the path that it takes us on….

We are able to experience the full healing health that the frequency of peace and joy and enlightenment resonates through our body….it surpasses any other type of emotion…

Do I enjoy that I am asked to put a mask on in different places…no…

Do I enjoy that the people of God are divided on so many things right now….no….

Do I enjoy it when I have symptoms due to autoimmunity issues flare up…..no…..

But…I trust that if God has permitted something it is for my greater good…

What part do I need to take action to better support my body?

What action do I need to take to better love others around me?

What action do I need to take to be the change this world so desperately needs?

Now isn’t that a better way to look at the full beauty of this quote?

Have a glorious week!

Hugs and blessings always,

Kelly

STOP the Stress & Anxiety of today!

Today is going to be full of many emotions…

We have choices with those emotions.

Use your tools of prayer, tapping, aromatherapy, grounding, journaling, walks, anything that will bring you peace in your heart and soul!

Hugs and prayers always,

Kelly 😘

TRUE CHANGE: Reformation from within!

I have loosely followed the drama of the news for about 10 years now.  I use to let the news consume me.  I would either let it spin in my head or there would be things I just didn’t understand and I hated not understanding so that would spin as well.

I made a deal with God 10 years ago…..I would stop obsessing over the news and I would trust He would ensure I would be informed on news that I really needed to be aware of.  Now you might ask if I am intentionally not reading or watching the news how am I going to know something?  Well, He would have specific friends or family members that know me well share things with me.  Things that I would resonate with.  News I would understand and not obsess over.

The last 6 months though….ugh.  I have still intentionally not watched or read anything BUT the downloads of information that have been thrown my way by God through friends and family has been well… let’s say more than I could possibly want to consume but I know I need to continue to be in the loop in order to truly discern and pray for all that is going on.

This has had me reflecting on censorship.  Part of why I walked away from the news years ago was not just because it wasn’t serving my mental health or my soul,  it was also because I KNEW I wasn’t really getting the whole story.  We may be a country that is supposed to be about not censoring yet it happens…..and it is happening by the ocean full right now.

We have organizations and groups of people pulling down statues and re-writing history books.  They don’t like that the people being honored to have lived a full picture story ie-meaning they were human they did some really good things but they also lived in times when not so great things took place.

Now I know you’re going to say, Kelly, you’re oversimplifying it….and I challenge you to think….no we as a people are overcomplicating it.  I think when we as a people start overthinking things, start trying to get into the weeds of things then that’s when we forget to be childlike in our love and compassion.

Yes, there are historical figures who were this or that…..but they did good things too…..heck lets take a look at some of the key biblical characters (outside of Jesus) they weren’t perfect…..they did good and bad things!  Hello: Abraham…Moses….David….Peter!!!

St. Francis is one I love to look at as a great example of this conundrum….he knew he wasn’t perfect….he knew there were issues in the church…..yet he didn’t stick his head in the sand nor did he try to banish the Church and erase it’s history or even run from it…..  He stuck around to make a difference.

And that is what we should each strive to do.  Whether it is in our everyday life as a citizen or even the life of our health.

I think about how even though I may have had moments in my life where I really didn’t like the skin I was in I never gave up on it or tried to permanently alter it.  I dug in deep to address my mental health, my emotional health, my spiritual health so I could truly address my physical health.

I think we could all take a page from Saint Francis’s life right now….maybe if we were all willing to dig in and address the true internal issues….not complicate things….and not run away or ignore the issues….and keep things simple and pure then maybe just maybe we can heal the hate in this world….and HEAL THE HATE WE DIRECT TO OUR OWN SELF.

Because this is the BIGGEST AHA I hope you will grasp…..when we are able to finally TRULY LOVE OURSELF that is when we will change the world….because you can’t give love, true love… if you don’t already love yourself!

Many hugs, prayers, and blessings as always,

Kelly 🙂

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