Thursday my fabulous functional doc asked me to do a 5 day fast again of bone broth, green tea, and lemon water. You see my brain fog has come back pretty bad and my mind is just not able to focus on things. It feels fractured, spastic, anxious, unsettled.
Six months ago when we did this it truly helped reset my insulin levels, my fatigue lifted, and my brain fog cleared up.
It was beautiful….amazing….wonderful!
Thus the thought was to start over from scratch really chart and see what could be causing the root of the brain fog. I totally agree…he is right….it is what I should do. Heck I have always been game for a fast. You all hear about my love for fasting all the time. Yet I was feeling resistant. I came home and I just couldn’t get myself excited about it.
And then realization came to me yesterday when visiting with a friend. There was a 2 fold reason. The first one was obedience. The second was purpose, prayer, punishment.
The simple answer to obedience is I just didn’t want to. My will didn’t want to. Yet I trust and value my doc and he HAS NOT stirred me wrong. SOOO what was the underlying reason to not want to be “obedient”? Was it as simple as will? Was it as simple as just not in the mood?
After further reflection and prayer and just listening to God….it hit me like a ton of bricks….it was about purpose not punishment anymore!!! Which is really a good thing…something I should celebrate….something I should find great peace and joy in! And I do! Let me explain better.
You see my very first fast 6 or 7 years ago had purpose. I made a contract with God for a certain duration of days….I wrote my hearts petition…..I wrote what I was going to abstain from for that duration….and then I did it. Only one other person knew about my fast. I proceeded with this fast and prayer with the purest of hearts. It had a purpose with heart and soul.
As I have shared before that fast ended up not only fulfilling my petition to God….it’s purpose….but it over flowed. It was the beginning of me learning about my health in a totally different way. It was beautiful. And that wasn’t even an absolute kind of fast….it was just an abstaining from certain things kind of fast.
Over the years I continued to pray and fast for others and situations….with petitions to God with purpose and purity. But the problem is people started asking me so many things all the time about my health….about my weight loss….about my prayer life….etc. And somewhere in the mix pride and vanity started to sizzle in. They are sneaky and insidious that way. None of us are exempt or protected from vices…sin.
Therefore the last couple of years some of my fasts that I may have done with a purpose of prayer for someone (whether an absolute for a day or two, or a “Daniel” type of fast for a week or so) weren’t always pure with their purpose. I don’t even think it was something I was aware of initially. Yet there were times I would find myself thinking “hmm well I need to fast anyways to lose a bit of weight.” Or I would think…..”I should fast for so and so but I will do it during this time frame so I can still have drinks during this time frame”……There became an underlying punishment or negotiation…..it wasn’t staying pure. Therefore it was becoming a burden and not a joy to do my fast in silence between just me and God with a purpose of greatness and purity.
SOOO…..The joy I discovered yesterday is I had no PUNISHMENT OR IMPURE PURPOSE FOR THIS FAST!!! I knew it truly was about my health. It truly was about healing my body and not about getting a bit leaner….or punishing myself for something I ate or drank or did. THERE WAS NO PRIDE OR VANITY INVOLVED. There was no underlying mode or goal.
THIS FAST IS FOR PURE TRUE PURPOSE OF HEALING MY HEAD!!! MY MIND!!! MY SOUL REALLY!!!
Therefore I take great joy in this fast.
I am enjoying the peace of this fast.
I feel amazing freedom with this fast!
Have a glorious day as you seek out your joy, peace, and freedom from something in your life that started out pure but somehow over the years or circumstances got mucked up.
Pray about it, reflect on it, take it to God and find your freedom to have purpose with purity in it again!
hugs and prayers always,
PS….This book picture is the 2nd book he wrote. I read the first one 7 years ago before I embarked on my first spiritual fast. Here is the link to my very first posting on it:
And then picked up this one a few years ago to start helping me understand basically what I wrote above. It has really helped me on my journey of getting to where I am today with what I wrote. It has especially helped me to to understand I must continually be vigilant and prayerful with and for my armor so I don’t fall to the temptation of pride and vanity. Love ya all!!!