I have been pondering the last week about my desires for writing…my desires for blogging…my dreams and passions…
I’ve been really reflecting even more about what creates joy for me….what makes me happy….and owning who I AM!!!
I am a woman who loves to read.
I am a woman who loves to learn.
I am a woman who loves to paint.
I am a woman who loves to write.
I am a woman who loves to spend time with my daughter.
I am a woman who loves and adores her husband.
I am a woman who loves to just be.
My health for the last 9 months has had me really reflecting on all the things I love. It has also had me reflect on all the things that I don’t necessarily love.
I have realized that somehow I have been slowly losing who I am?! Kind of like Julia Roberts in “Run away Bride”….she didn’t know what kind of eggs she liked. She always changed with each man, each friend, she was lost with who she was.
As I have been trying to figure out what is going on with my health: fatigue, unexplained weight gain, extreme moods, can’t sleep, can’t move, and sooooo much more….my health issues have actually helped me FIND ME again.
Somehow over the last 5 years of amazing blessings, challenges, discoveries, growths….I started to please too much and not nurture me….this is not good for me and not a good example to my daughter.
I found a fabulous nutrition coach who is going to help me figure out things and be my advocate with doctors and I feel even with family and friends.
Why family and friends? When a person is trying to nurture and care for themselves, family and friends can be the hardest to please or they can be the most critical, especially if you are trying to figure things out in an unconventional way.
Which brings me to…I found an amazing doctor who even after reading over all my stuff that has been going on for the last 9 months or so….he took one look at me and said he strongly believes I have a thyroid issue. He said sooo much more but the gist is here was a man who believed me…who is willing to fight with and for me to get to the root of my health so I can feel whole and complete again!
I have learned even through all this I AM ENOUGH. I will not let my frustrations with self or others sway me to not listen to my gut brain, my inner wisdom, my soul!
There are things about aging that are normal…But I love what Dr. Christiane Northrup says….how if you are feeling so icky….if you have aches, pains, etc….it’s not normal…we should feel alive….it is probably our hormones off…and there are many things we CAN do to help it…correct it….and heal it…
Thus as I am learning to heal…grow…and learn through all of this most recent challenge I have discovered I am going to be even truer to myself….
I will blog…write….when I want to…when it feels right….when it brings joy….not because of a sense of obligation….
I will get on facebook…twitter…pinterest….when I want to….when it feels right….when it’s not taking away from me…or family….not because everyone else does it and I feel peer pressured to do it….
I will not feel guilty that I am not doing enough for my daughter…my family….because what we do works for our family….I will not compare…I do believe I AM ENOUGH!!
Some of the wonderful things I have been learning about my health….is that my spiritual fasting has actually been very healthy for me. I have allowed others around me to influence me in thinking that it wasn’t so good for me….so the last year or so I wasn’t doing any absolutes. And here I am finding how it has not only been beneficial for me spiritually but also nutritionally. But again…no more feeling bullied by others opinions and thoughts…I AM AND WILL DO WHAT IS RIGHT FOR ME!
Women….the more you love, nurture, and care for you….the more you are able to love, nurture, and care for others!