Dynamic Daughters….

The DYNAMIC DAUGHTERS Facebook group is near and dear to me because it is about raising a daughter!

We live in a world…a time…where I pray continually for the spiritual and physical well being of my daughter. 

Don’t get me wrong…I don’t believe it is all doom and gloom but I am also a realist in that there is some serious disorder out there…some serious perversions of right and wrong….thus sharing and connecting with other parents to learn…empower….encourage each other about raising daughters today is very important.

Today….think….reflect….pray…journal about how you are overcoming any fears about raising a child with so much chaos around us.  Can you see the light?!  Because there is some amazing light out there….maybe you just need to connect with the right group to help with that light!

Many blessings and hugs dear readers….family…friends….
~Kelly 😉

Dynamic Daughters: Ascending into Greatness…Glory…Girl Power!

I believe in God, the Father Almighty, 
Creator of Heaven and earth; 
and in Jesus Christ, His only Son Our Lord, 
Who was conceived by the Holy Spirit, born of the Virgin Mary, suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died, and was buried. 
He descended into Hell; the third day He rose again from the dead; 
He ascended into Heaven, and sitteth at the right hand of God, the Father almighty; from thence He shall come to judge the living and the dead.
 I believe in the Holy Spirit, the holy Catholic Church, the communion of saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body and life everlasting. 
Amen.



The Apostle’s creed is one of the many prayers that reminds me how beautiful I am! Today we celebrate the Ascension  of Christ into Heaven.   As you have any struggles in your life lean on this amazing prayer to remind you that Christ did all He did for us so we too can ascend from the depths of our own sins, fears, weaknesses….and so much more!

Thus I wanted to follow up from last weeks posting about Dysmorphic Disorder.  I wanted to share with all of you why I am so passionate about it!

Dysmorphic Disorder is one of the many things that have molded me to be the WARRIOR WOMAN I am today!

Growing up I always knew my minds eye about my body wasn’t quite right but I trusted and had faith that what I “saw” was not true.   I trusted that God doesn’t make junk.  but….it hasn’t always been easy.   Even with a great faith and great trust and belief…I still would have moments. 

And still do from time to time…the difference is now being 41….the moments are so far and few in-between than what they were when I was 13…15…17….21….25….30….

How have I survived it? 

 I trust…I constantly  rely on my faith.  
 I constantly am digging into my faith and growth to make my armor that much stronger. 
So what does it feel like for a person with dysmorphic disorder?
This is what it always has felt like for me….like I mentioned in previous post every person who has this has a different degree.  I am blessed and fortunate to not have it so severe that it prevents me from wanting to live life to its fullest.   But it does have is beautifully blessed challenges.  
I have always chosen to see the blessing behind it rather than the burden.   I believe it is how I have grown stronger in my faith.  It is truly a huge reason why I committed to never ever speaking negatively about myself or even think negative thoughts about self with having a daughter. Especially with knowing it is something we can pass on.

Some of my youngest/earliest childhood experiences formed my disorder. (Read this post for earliest memory)…
Always being objectified has formed me to be who I am. And I am grateful for it because it has made me committed to teaching young girls to be strong…love themselves…to guard themselves…to learn about the true freedom of chastity and modestly….and the beautiful freedom we obtain when we learn theology of the body. 
What does dysmorphia look like for me:
Knowing that I am beautiful…I am healthy…yet having moments of not feeling just right. 
Moments come on even stronger when someone gives my body attention that I find especially objectifying rather than being looked as a daughter of Christ.  There is a difference between a chaste compliment and feeling like a porter steak.  
I remember when I was in the military not enjoying the attention my curves would attract.  I lived in an area that the curvier you were the better.   Women could truly feel comfortable in their own skin yet the attention made me want to have the least amount of curves possible.  
I actually never felt uncomfortable in my skin when I was really having problems with my hormones (my pcos) and I was at my heaviest.  When I looked in the mirror I saw a daughter of Christ.  But I also know that I had 7 solid years of strengthening my spiritual armor and living a true love of self for my beautiful little growing girl.  
Then I figured out some health stuff through a spiritual journey and lost 30-32 pounds.  I started to receive lots of attention for it that made me very uncomfortable.  Yet I still felt strong in my faith.  I still felt strong in my self worth and body image. 
Then I had my miscarriage. Between healing from that mentally physically, spiritually I started to throw myself into my passion of research and biohacking my health, nutritionally and physically. (More on biohacking in the future).  The problem  is as I got excited about each biohack and personal challenge the more I wasn’t guarding my self love as well.  I found myself starting to compare again and find value in the mirror and scale.  I pushed myself hard on my runs because it was a great mental and spiritual escape to heal from my loss. But it was also an easy way for me to unconsciously want to widdle away to nothing… to become that hanger for clothing.

As people would comment about how thin I was the more self conscious I became.  The more I wanted not be noticed.  After my hysterectomy I probably pushed myself my hardest  because after all if I couldn’t have any more children what did it matter what I looked like.  I became so lean that I could have been in some of those competitions Maddy Moon did and talks about….but it wasn’t what my body wanted to naturally be.  I may have looked “good”…but I wasn’t healthy…Mind, Body, or Soul!!!

The stresses of the last 5 years are what led me on my journey of adrenal fatigue and on this… journey of being even stronger mind body and soul than I ever have been in my life.  
When I started doing exercises body weight training to specifically start rebuilding my bone density and muscle growth/strength I would have moments of not liking what I was seeing.  After all I got use to an unrealistic 97 pounds for my body.  I was born to lift heavy.  I was born to be strong.  I was born to be me…I was born to love myself in all sizes all shapes…all seasons of life.

This is where GIRLS GONE STRONG has been amazing for me!  Reminding me how beautiful we all are.  Reminding me to walk the walk I talk!

So what does my dysmorphic look like for me today at 41?
I look in the mirror and smile!   I ignore whatever chemical imbalance is trying to lie to me…If a negative image is conjured from a past hurt or comment I say I forgive and pray the Lord’s Prayer with great compassion….
I think age and my spiritual life has given me a great gift to realize and know I am more than the sum on that scale or that distorted clown mirror that sometimes likes to rear its ugly head!   I am more!!!
With adrenal fatigue I have had to really learn how to nurture and love myself even more.  I have had to really tap into understanding that my mind body soul health is more important than looking as ripped as I possibly can.  That I am judging myself when no one else around me is.  It is truly in my head and I have let it go.  
As my beautiful daughter is budding into a young lady I am so grateful for God and His continual work on me.  

He shows me how to grow, learn, and heal.  

Therefore giving me the opportunity to be the best example to my daughter of what it means to be a wonderful warrior woman.  
ARMOR YOUR DYNAMIC DAUGHTER WITH FAITH, HOPE, AND LOVE….TO FEED HER MIND, BODY, AND SOUL….TO BECOME THE WONDERFUL WARRIOR WOMAN….SHE IS DESTINED TO BE!

hugs, prayers, and lots of blessings,
~Kelly 😉

Dynamic Daughters: Understanding Dysmorphic Disorder

Dys-what?

Okay so here is a summary of all I have learned….and I am going to highlight specific aspects and explain why….but if you want to understand this disorder even more there are lots of great resources out there.  And I will give you the the whole MIND, BODY, SOUL….connects at the end of this post.  But for now…..

Dysmorphic Disorder:

(follow the above link to get the full details….but below is a summary)

A type of chronic mental illness.  The individual has a perceived flaw that is either minor or totally imagined.  The point is they obsess over it.  They obsess over appearance and body image for hours a day.  This obsession impacts daily decisions.  There is never a satisfaction with their body.  They seek procedures: minor or major, to “fix” these flaws.  They may lean on excessive exercise.

Just some of the symptoms…

preoccupied by appearance
extreme self-consciousness
frequent examination of self in mirror or avoid mirrors
believe others notice you in a negative way
avoid social situations
excessive grooming
compares self to others
don’t want to be in pictures
obsess over specific body parts: face, hair, skin, breasts, muscles…etc

Causes:
Brain differences (structure or neuro-chemistry)
Genes – more common in a person who has a family member who has this condition.
Environment – life experiences, culture

Risk Factors:
This is just a short, very slimmed down explanation….
Some of the factors that increase risk of developing or triggering condition include:

relatives with disorder
life experiences: childhood teasing, trauma
personality traits
societal pressures or expectations
having another mental disorder such as anxiety or depression.

***Dysmorphia usually starts in adolescents and it affects men and women.

Why does this all matter to me?

I see more and more young women being bombarded by social media’s imagery of what a woman “looks like”….and how we “should” look like!

Even though we KNOW that there is airbrushing involved…there is some extreme things that are done…..and that the magazines, movies, shows, commercials….represent a very small percentage of the population….we are talking like less than 10%.

I recently read/heard that genetically speaking…there is only 1% of women who come by thigh gap naturally….born with it.

YET WE ARE OBSESSED WITH IT….all others who obtain in….do it at great costs…..

And further it is destroying the self-esteem and self-image in our young girls!

Which brings me back to Dysmorphic Disorder!

It is real…it has ranges, just like many other mental disorders.  Just like a person who may manage many other mental disorders, or a person who compensates with other mental “handicaps” of sorts….

Thus a person can have more severe cases than others….some may not have bouts come on all the time or infrequent.  Yet it is always there in the background.  It is how a young girl nurtures herself, and manages her daily stresses, daily influences that will make all the difference in my opinion.

Things that can help a young lady is to be in tuned with herself and admit when she needs help.

She needs to ask herself: how can I help myself?  Do I need to seek treatment? Or is this something I can manage with the help of a great confidant or support system?

Lifestyle/home remedies that can help:

Taking supplements/herbs that support the serotonin levels.
Learn more about the condition.
Pay attention to warning signs.
Avoid situations, even people that my trigger bad self talk.
Avoid: food, alcohol, drugs….substances that are going not support a nurturing mindset.
BE ACTIVE.  Yoga, walks, sprints, HIIT….are all great ways to keep the mind clear.

Other ways to support yourself/cope:

Write in a journal.
Don’t isolate yourself.
Stay healthy.
Read self-help books.
Join support groups.
Stay focused on goals.
Learn relaxation/stress management.
Don’t make important decisions when feeling despair/distress.

Prevention may not be possible but identifying if you are at risk and learning to truly love yourself early on can help.

Here are some great articles/self help/resources…
 to love self better:

Seriously, Let’s End the War with our Bodies

Understanding Body Types: How our Genes are a factor

A strong/amazing Woman not caring what Society Says she should LOOK LIKE

Remember…
ARMOR YOUR DYNAMIC DAUGHTER WITH FAITH, HOPE, AND LOVE….TO FEED HER MIND, BODY, AND SOUL….TO BECOME THE WONDERFUL WARRIOR WOMAN….SHE IS DESTINED TO BE!

hugs, prayers, and lots of blessings,
~Kelly 😉

Dynamic Daughters: In Need of Energy!

ADRENAL FATIGUE! This is not something to play with.  There is so much information out there but let me tell you it is real.

In January my doctor pretty much gave me strict orders to lower my stress and to be in bed by 9 and not be up before 6.  He also said to do restorative movement not running or HIIT kind of exercising. I needed to reduce my caffeine and alcohol.  Blah blah blah…I listened pretty strict for the first month and then we entered into lent and again I was able to keep to the dietary needs and sleep but I started allowing running and more intense workouts to creep back into my life.  After Easter more red meat…more coffee..more wine…pushing the bedtime…and I found myself hitting a wall again.  
I started reading Dr. Sara Gottfried newest book on the hormone reset and the more I read it the more I thought about my adrenals; I started researching again.  
I realized I must truly give my body the rest it is begging me for.  I continue to be en-flamed.  And all  I’ve been reading about how if I don’t get my adrenals in full health before I enter menopause it will make that stage in life much more difficult. Thus I MUST not think of vanity right now but about health…true internal health!
Everything I’ve been learning about the symptoms and causes of adrenal fatigue make total sense to me.  It confirms for me that I did push myself too much  3 years ago. I can’t take it back. What  I can do is accept that I must do the right thing for myself now and be healthy: mind body soul. 
It’s the perfect opportunity for me to truly live a life of saying I love myself no matter what.  That I am still strong…still healthy…still amazing…even if I don’t ever run again. 
My trying to recover from Adrenal Fatigue has brought out healing and facing body images issues that have been freeing.  (More on body image and it’s relationship to Dysmorphic Disorder in a future post).

I know I am healthy.  I know I am beautiful.  I know I am amazing.  I have amazing strength.  I look great. 
I had to face the fact that between my bio-hacking experiments (more on that in another post) and my adrenal fatigue  has created a huge hormonal mess… I find myself not always feeling great about what I see.  
But this is where faith …tapping into my spiritual life… is vitally important.  Because I don’t let those negative voices sway me. I tell them to go away…I look myself in the mirror…I smile and I say: I am beautifully made!!!!!
And I am!!!!
God doesn’t make junk!!!
Thus, I will continue to live up to the promise I made my dynamic daughter over 12 years ago while she was still in my womb…to never ever speak negatively about myself.  To always show her through my life and love that we are defined not by what we look like but by our heart.  
And you know what if I have to never run again, never have caffeine or wine again, never stay up late again, and weigh a bit more than my mind thinks I should than that’s OK.  Because the picture of Health isn’t always what it appears to be.  
I love what Maddy Moon shared about how she experienced being at her leanest and how it about destroyed her.

AS we raise dynamic daughters to become wonderful warrior women we must be willing to always evaluate our own self…
What are the things that we value:
vanity over virtue?!
Ascetics over health?!
Pain over purpose!?

So I again say…I am okay with if I can’t ever run again.  And I will continue to show my daughter through my actions:
 I am a valuable amazing person just as I am!!!

I love my life….especially with all it’s challenges….all its hurts, pains, struggles….because I continue  to grow and learn from each experience.  And I continue to experience God’s amazing power through my weakness!

Ephesians 5:29


For no one ever hated his own flesh, 
but nourishes and cherishes it, 
just as Christ does the church.

ARMOR YOUR DYNAMIC DAUGHTER WITH FAITH, HOPE, AND LOVE….TO FEED HER MIND, BODY, AND SOUL….TO BECOME THE WONDERFUL WARRIOR WOMAN….SHE IS DESTINED TO BE!

hugs, prayers, and lots of blessings,
~Kelly 😉

  

Dynamic Daughters: Only Joy!

 I have been reading a fabulous book this last weekend (actually listening to it..lol) and it has had me reflect just as during lent what are the things that are most important to me…what gives me great joy???

Writing does!
This blog does!
Teaching my daughter does!
Being a wife to my wonderful husband does!
Keeping things simple does!
Sharing and connecting to others does!

But Facebook not so much….I have found over the last couple of weeks that I look forward when I write but I don’t when I go to FB….but I realized it was because I don’t want it on my phone….I want to be able to really walk away from social media and technology when I am with my family.  When I am living life.  For me if all the different apps are on my phone accessible I feel like I am being irresponsible with not checking or utilizing all my mind thinks I should be doing.

A really fun movie:  MOMS NIGHT OUT….Like the mom in this movie,I find myself getting too intense and overwhelmed with things.  And therefore, I am not showing and being that example to my daughter that I desire to be….which is to only do things that create joy in my life!

Thus, I have decided since Facebook doesn’t bring me joy like it does so many, I am not going to feel guilty that I don’t want to go to it all the time.  I am not going to feel guilty if I don’t check it but on the weekends…or that I only post something that I want to share but don’t scroll down to see everyone else’s happenings!

After all JOY and peace in life is much more important to me, and I hope all of you, than being “connected” in all the different social medias!

Have a glorious evening….glorious week!
Many blessings and hugs,
~Kelly 🙂

Dynamic Daughters: Who are you?!

PROVERBS 31:10
WHO CAN FIND A VIRTUOUS AND CAPABLE (WOMAN)?
SHE IS WORTH MORE THAN PRECIOUS RUBIES.

I recently re-watched a fun movie “THE RUN AWAY BRIDE”.  Within the movie there is a part where Julia Roberts, the main character, is asked if she even knows what kind of eggs she likes.  Apparently she had always said her favorite way to have eggs was the way the current boyfriend liked his eggs cooked: scrambled, fried, omelet, Benedict…etc…..

This woman was always running from herself.  She changed for every man in her life.  Thus, never truly appreciating and understanding the beautiful woman God created her to be.

It doesn’t matter our age…we all go through seasons where we may need to be reminded to…
 stop – breath – reflect…who are we really ?!  
What is God asking us to do?

This is important for us as adult women to do because it helps us then be able to model good habits, morals, practices to our daughters.

It is further important for our daughters to continually armor themselves with great bible verses that speak to them and empower them about being a woman.  The more they immerse themselves in this truth the more they are going to be able to stand strong and resist the losing of themselves among their friends, their peers, and those they date.

My daughter knows she is a fried egg white kind of girl.  I want her to not only stand true to herself but I want her to not be afraid to say it loudly, strongly, firmly!

ARMOR YOUR DYNAMIC DAUGHTER WITH FAITH, HOPE, AND LOVE….TO FEED HER MIND, BODY, AND SOUL….TO BECOME THE WONDERFUL WARRIOR WOMAN….SHE IS DESTINED TO BE!

hugs, prayers, and lots of blessings,
~Kelly 😉

Dynamic Daughters: Made to Crave

Genesis 25:29-34(NIV)

29 Once when Jacob was cooking some stew,<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-688A" data-link="(A)” style=”box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;”> Esau came in from the open country,<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-688B" data-link="(B)” style=”box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;”> famished. 30 He said to Jacob, “Quick, let me have some of that red stew!<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-689C" data-link="(C)” style=”box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;”> I’m famished!” (That is why he was also called Edom.<span class="footnote" data-fn="#fen-NIV-689a" data-link="[a]” style=”box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;”>[a])<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-689D" data-link="(D)” style=”box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;”>
31 Jacob replied, “First sell me your birthright.<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-690E" data-link="(E)” style=”box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;”>
32 “Look, I am about to die,” Esau said. “What good is the birthright to me?”
33 But Jacob said, “Swear<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-692F" data-link="(F)” style=”box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;”> to me first.” So he swore an oath to him, selling his birthright<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-692G" data-link="(G)” style=”box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;”> to Jacob.
34 Then Jacob gave Esau some bread and some lentil stew.<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-693H" data-link="(H)” style=”box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;”> He ate and drank, and then got up and left.
So Esau despised his birthright.

“Made to Crave” is a fantastic book that speaks to the heart of a woman.  The author walks us through how we as women have specific struggles, going back to Eve!

What is especially awesome is…
 she co-wrote a teen version of this book.

I started reading this book with my dynamic daughter because I wanted her to know and feel empowered by being aware of how tricky the devil can be with creating “cravings” for other distractions to lure us away from Gods beautiful, perfect plan for us.

The  authors beautifully explain how our cravings for stuff, food, comparing, shopping, wrong kind of love can lead us to poor choices…choices that don’t put GOD first!

The bible story of Esau above is an excellent example of how we can get distracted for our immediate desire, want…and not keep our eye on the prize.  Where our  daughters are concerned the prize is them staying strong and keeping their virtue intact in a world full of constant contradictory messages of instant gratification!

Teach your daughter to have a game plan when faced with a situation that goes against her teachings, against her faith, against her virtue.  Teach her to write out her plans, rehearse them in her head, have an accountability friend, one just as committed to living a virtuous life as she is.  And empower her with amazing books that reference God’s word like this one, MADE TO CRAVE, in order to constantly strengthen her armor!

ARMOR YOUR DYNAMIC DAUGHTER WITH FAITH, HOPE, AND LOVE….TO FEED HER MIND, BODY, AND SOUL….TO BECOME THE WONDERFUL WARRIOR WOMAN….SHE IS DESTINED TO BE!

Hugs, prayers, blessings…
~Kelly 🙂

Dynamic Daughters: Breakfast Pizza!

GENESIS 1:27,31…
GOD CREATED PEOPLE IN HIS OWN IMAGE; GOD PATTERNED THEM AFTER HIMSELF; MALE AND FEMALE HE CREATED THEM…THEN GOD LOOKED OVER ALL HE HAD MADE, AND HE WAS THAT IT WAS EXCELLENT IN EVERY WAY.

“A healthy self-image is seeing yourself as God sees you – no more and no less.”
 – Josh McDowell

I have a very picky eater!  But as I have posted before, I refuse to create food as a battlefield!  Thus, I choose to find ways to nurture our relationship, nurture our health, and respect each other!

My amazing warrior girl LOVES pizza and muffins!

I have been on a quest for the last year to create whole, real food, nutritious baked goods and pizza that she really enjoys and doesn’t ask for the bakery or takeout!

Today I share with you a yummy Breakfast Pizza that became a huge hit for her.  It was a wonderful Friday dinner for us since we have committed as a family to abstain from meat on Friday’s as our way of reflecting and remembering the amazing sacrifice Christ made for us.

BREAKFAST PIZZA

I used a small cast iron skillet for this one. 
 I think it was the little 5 inch one!? 
 I whisked up 3 eggs
 with about 1/4 cup of bone broth,
 1/4 cup of coconut milk, 
1 tsp of garlic powder.  
I put a heaping tablespoon of coconut oil in the pan on medium heat. 
 Pour the eggs into the pan. 
Once I saw it getting firmer around the edges and the bottom…
I then transferred the whole pan into the oven at 350 degrees…
 for about 5-10 minutes.  
Basically until I saw it getting firmer. 
Before it browned I pulled it out.  
That is when I put the organic pizza sauce, or one I have made from tomato paste and seasonings, 
sprinkled with cheese, 
put back into the oven until the cheese has melted to satisfaction.

And there you go…add whatever toppings you want!  
For me I put olives, mushrooms, spinach, peppers….lots of yummy-ness!

How does this nurture my daughters soul?  
She sees me wanting to  create things  she enjoys eating and is still nutritious for her.  Because I know the more balanced I can help her keep her hormones, the easier this roller coaster of pre-teen and womanhood will be!  (Check out Dr. Sara Gottfried’s HORMONE RESET DIET, to learn more about how we as women can understand our hormones better, thus being able to help our daughters understand the hormones in their bodies!)

Thus, this meal will give her great protein to satisfy and keep her insulin balanced.  All the different healthy fats in it will create a satiety to help think clearer.  And the whole experience is enjoyable!

Blessings, prayers, and hugs always,
~Kelly 🙂

Dynamic Daughters: "Soul Surfer"

FEAR NOT!!!

Check out this link in ALL scriptures relating in not fearing!

My favorite one I lean on a regular basis is:

Psalm 56:3
WHEN I AM AFRAID,
 I PUT MY TRUST 
IN YOU!!!

In the movie “Soul Surfer”…I remember the conversation the parents had in the car after they got home form the hospital…

The dad ponders…what now?  The mom reminds him, just like when they brought home their first baby, they knew nothing, so they took it one day at a time, and they learned together.

I think the largest challenge with raising a daughter, a child, is to not give into fear.  Don’t fear the unknown.  Instead embrace it.  Feed your mind with as much great material but when your daughter throws you a curve ball don’t run from it.  Face it had on…even ponder if it’s something that needs work on within your own self; and be honest with her always!  Don’t’ avoid the tough questions.  If you show her you’re human and vulnerable, she will come to you even more.

ARMOR YOUR DYNAMIC DAUGHTER WITH FAITH, HOPE, AND LOVE….TO FEED HER MIND, BODY, AND SOUL….TO BECOME THE WONDERFUL WARRIOR WOMAN….SHE IS DESTINED TO BE!

Hugs, prayers, blessings…
~Kelly 🙂

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