My Story Begins….

Last week I promised you I would share what I had prepared for the interview that took place.  So below is what I put down on paper.  It was just notes I made to myself to organize myself….the interview did not in anyway shape or form go according to how I wrote it out…..but it is still a great starting place to start filling in all the gaps to write and share with others who have been hurting to find amazing joy in the life they are living NO MATTER WHAT!!!

My notes:

Dysmorphia

Disordered eating

Objectified

Self love

Hoshimotos

Infertility

NFP

PCOS

Eczema

Miscarriage….losses…

Growing up….

I was the kid with the homemade sandwiches with sourdough bread, sprouts, homemade mayo, chicken (that we butchered and grilled up)…

Sugar was not allowed in the house.

My story began when I was probably about 8, if not even earlier (if you believe in generational hurts)….but about 8 was the earliest I remember.

But I will start with the current part of my story….

I met laura Ricci about 5 or so years ago.  I actually knew of her from church and there was just something amazing about her spirit.  I wanted to get to know her.  As I was going through my own spiritual journey and learning things about my health and life that had me making changes to eating clean….and realizing that food is meant to be one ingredient…..I was hearing about Laura’s story and I had to know more about this amazing woman.  So I invited her over for tea about 3 years ago.  We visited.  I think she had just started her nutritional coaching certification.  And I was wanting to hear all about it because I really wanted to do that but I knew I wasn’t at a place in life to pursue something like that.  We shared about nutrition…she even asked me some questions and I was given the gift of having a seed planted within my soul…a ripple with this amazing woman who I only hoped would grow from there.

Fast forward…..about 2 years ago my health started to take a nose dive….all the conventional docs I was going to were not giving me answers…my labs were “normal”….I was told I was just too stressed….too little sleep….blah blah….

I was use to bio-hacking my life and health…..but I was tired of not having answers…..

I hit my wall….when there was a week where I was sleeping 12 hours at night and still naps in the day…..I knew something had to give…..

I remembered Laura had just finished her certification….so I contacted her…..I told her I wanted to see her as a nutritional coach.  I wanted to employ her services.

She helped me unfold my root causes…..she led me to Dr. Vennell who helped me figure out my thyroid/adrenal issue…and eventually uncovering that Hoshimoto’s was at the root of all this……

My system was shutting down….not because of my nutrition but because of the stress in my life…..

You see I had experienced three great losses (stresses on the mind body and especially soul) in a very short period of time about within 16-18 months I had lost a baby at 12 weeks,(after having struggled with infertility once again),  lost the grandmother I was very close to, and had needed a hysterectomy for serious medical reasons.

I had preached self-care to everyone but wasn’t practicing it.

But really my thyroid storm of the 3 events wasn’t the only thing that caused it…..it had been brewing for years….I just didn’t realize it….or better really…..I wasn’t listening to what my body was telling me…

What I have always known but was getting a very up close and personal reality check about health was that our physical body IS connected to our mind and spirit….and eventually our bodies have a breaking point.  Our physical body will say hey you need to nurture the soul….the mind….

A part of me knew all this because shortly after my miscarriage I started blogging.  It was very therapeutic for me.  Plus for several years before that God was having me share parts of my story, my past, more and more with others….to create hope….to see amazing healing and love through even some not so great stuff….

I had in the middle of this a breakthrough; I was following several podcasts and had heard the phrase body dysmorphic and disordered eating…..

Which brings us back to my true beginning story….

When I was between 8 and 10 that was my first experience of being objectified by a boy/man….it was at that age I was inappropriately touched by a friend’s older brother while “helping” me tie my bathing suit.  That was just the beginning of such abuses…..and further moments of being objectified by boyfriends, co-workers, men in many situations and walks of life…..it put me in a situation of not always trusting my instinct….as well as not always making the greatest of choices because after all I was basically being told I am only valued by my body.

Add to that I had a mother who didn’t speak lovingly about herself.  She was critical about her physical body.

Dysmorphia is where a person doesn’t see correctly what the mirror is showing them…..there is truly a chemical imbalance in the brain.  It takes place at an early age…..usually brought on by a role model who doesn’t practice good body image love…..a trauma (usually of sexual nature) at an early age…..and or a chemical imbalance usually low levels of serotonin and other stuff.  There are several other signs but these are the key three….I have all three which set me up at an early age for it.

But God helped me….he purposed in my heart to never believe the lie of the “carnival” mirror.

Fast forward about 5 years into my marriage we discovered I had serious infertility issues.  I learned NFP to better understand my body…..and that began the next level of self-care…..self awareness of our mind body soul connection and taking charge of my health….my whole health.

It took us 5 long hard years to become pregnant.  We learned my difficulties were because of PCOS and a severe bicornate uterus….and so much more….let me interject here…..I also had eczema which PCOS and eczema are both autoimmune conditions…..autoimmunity likes company…..so I truly was a breeding ground for the Hoshimotos….

Once I was pregnant I purposed myself….my heart….with God’s help to not pass on to my unborn child dysmorphia or disordered eating…..(at that time I didn’t even really realize I had a disordered eating issue…..it’s not like I ever didn’t eat or that I punished myself with food but I didn’t have a healthy relationship with food because of what I saw in my parents…..they used/use food to self-sooth, boredom, and for emotions….)

But the big thing for me during my pregnancy was to think only loving self-care thoughts.  I promised to never speak negatively about my body in front of her, around her, to her, or ever to anyone even if she wasn’t around…..I would break that cycle.

I am proud to say I have been able to keep that promise.

Now the dysmorphia did try to rear its ugly head after my miscarriage…..but I was able to work through it and do some amazing healing from it.

How I discovered the disordered eating was really an issue or the potential of an issue is as I have had to do different elimination diets to get to the root cause of my inflammation to help heal from the Hoshimoto’s…..I would find myself feeling guilty eating something that is healthy but maybe not so great for my body…..or I would find myself wanting to sooth as I saw my parents……and that is when I truly realized the power of nurture versus nature.  And heck I studied that in school specifically being a sociology/psychology major.

Because of it all, I have been able to come out stronger…..I have been able to realize when I was having to not only eat super clean but do periodic elimination diets to figure out my inflammation….I have been able to create a better relationship with food and even better with body.

I have to add that another huge key during this last year has been learning about the amazing gift of SPLANKNA…..my dear friend Jennifer Glenn introduced it to me…..and it is an amazing experience to help a person uncover healing that they may not even realize needed healing…..if I could, I would do a Splankna session every week!

I have put so many things into practice this last two years besides the clean eating journey I started in 2010…..that most would say I am beyond hippy dippy….lol…..but that’s okay…..I love waking and doing my prayers and meditation then yoga with my daughter…..later a workout based on the true inner feeling of a HIIT workout or a walk….

I feel even more  passionate about teaching young girls and women to LOVE the body they are in…..to love self….to know and see the beauty they ARE…..that they are enough right now.

I have taught my daughter from little on about the beauty of her human sexuality  How she is more than her physical body….that we must care for our body’s….respect it…nurture….and nourish it properly but we must care for the whole body: mind body soul.   And our soul is the first.  WE must be in harmony with the three to thrive.

Just recently I realized I wanted to do more to help others, especially girls and women to truly love themselves no matter where they are at in this journey of love. I am involved with a fabulous group through church to help share and learn about the beauty of our human sexuality…..and how God designed us for amazing beauty.

But I also realized it needed to be understood at the core of self….it needs to be reached to all the woman and girls who need to just understand and know and believe they are enough….they are beautiful.

I realized that through all I’ve been learning with meditation, nutrition, essential oils and so much more I was ready to utilize not only my formal education/degree but my non-traditional training.

I realized I want to provide one on one and or small group self-care life coaching. 

My dream is to have learning lunches where I can have group sessions/gatherings and share the different ways individuals can care for their whole body: spiritually, emotionally, physically….

Teaching many different ways to achieve the whole body health approach.  And to connect individuals with the professionals and practitioners to meet their specific needs.   By understanding a person’s temperament, where they are at in their self-care journey, and even what their love language is… I can better help them find who they can benefit from as well as what I may have in my tool box of knowledge to empower them to learn to love the life they are living!

We all need help to stop the hurt to move to healing to thriving!

***That was the end of my notes for the interview :)…..

What hurts do you need to heal from!?  Can you find the joy in the middle of your jolt!?  Take a moment today to sit, reflect, pray, write, meditate….and then decide to THRIVE!

Many hugs and blessings always,

~Kelly 🙂

Phat Pats on Friday!


“You sure are Phat!”…or….

“Man, she is Phat!”

When I lived on the East Coast,  I had no idea what that meant at the time.  Had to ask a coworker what it meant.  I remember being horrified that these statements were considered  compliments by the men who would throw these out to women.

My least favorite was, “She has a Phat a**.”   It would make me cringe when I heard that being referenced toward or about a woman and her derriere!  It just seemed derogatory, unrespectful, and truly not a compliment.  I don’t care what planet a man comes from a woman DOES NOT want to hear that!

Comments that focus on our physicalness takes away the dignity and true beauty of how and why we were created.

Some men don’t even realize they do or say things that can be considered disrespectful, demeaning.  It is a two-fold issue.

We as women have not helped with our whole attitude of : 
I am woMAN, hear me roar louder than you…
 I CAN DO IT, I DON’T NEED YOU….attitude!

 Thus, men seeing us less and less in a feminine way, and more and more as an object.

This has had me thinking about pats!  Sometimes our husbands do things that to them they think is a term or a gesture of endearment, of love, and we may cringe, or pull away or feel frustrated.  Why is that?  What is the root behind that less than loving reaction.

I realized for me my husbands pats would bring back memories of being objectified rather than respected and loved with true dignity and nurturing of my femininity.

I will explain.   🙂

My sweet hubby can be in a wonderful loving mood, come into a room, pat me on the bottom and I will cringe either internally or externally.  Either way I don’t like it.  To me it has always been like fingernails on a chalkboard.   I have tried to view it as I know he intends it to be: a loving gesture.  A gesture saying, I see you, I love you, I want to be with you!

I realized recently…I finally understand why I don’t like it.  It brings back memories of being objectified as a young girl growing up, and as a young woman out on my own.

The youngest memory I have of every being patted on the “back” was when I was 10.  I was at a swim party with a friend.  Her older brother was helping us untwist our bathing suit straps at the pool.  When he was done he swatted our fannies saying “okay it’s straight”.

 From then on I was always conscience of it. I was always aware, sensitive to how men/boys may do things that are truly not honorable.  

 When I bussed tables at 12 and 13, the old men drinking coffee for hours on end reaching out to “hug” you and “praise” you for your diligence of always attending to their coffee; and as you left their table with your coffee pot they would draw their arm away from your waist to then give a slight tap a bit lower than your waist.

After football games in high school, boys flicking their sweaty nasty field towels at you.  But where at you….of course your bottom….well because of course that is the only spot on your body that could handle a towel flick without it burning for eternity.  But the point being is they probably did it cause they knew they couldn’t get away from actually touching a girls bottom so it is the next best thing.   Oh and this happened ALL the time in the military for me!

I never felt prepared or adequate on how to handle these situations.  How to say “Don’t”, “NO!”…..”You have no right!”

Instead, I would sheepishly smile and pull away as quickly as possible and try to avoid that person or situation.  I never knew or realized how much it was chipping away at my self love, my dignity, my armor!

***At this point some reading may be thinking….what’s the big deal…no harm, no foul….ah lighten up….blah blah….

I AM TELLING YOU FROM A WOMAN’S PERSPECTIVE…AT LEAST FROM MY POINT OF VIEW:  THIS IS NOT OKAY!  IT IS NOT APPROPRIATE LOVE ACTIONS!

It wasn’t until years later after many other situations of being torn down in different ways mentally, physically, spiritually that I finally found my voice.   I was again put in a situation where a married man acted beyond inappropriately toward me.   It wasn’t just a pat, it was a squeeze!  He was a person I respected, worked close with, and admired.   I was confused and unsure.

I was wisely counseled by a friend and a spiritual director to speak up.  This was big for me.  This was hard for me.  It meant I had to create ripples.  I had to “hurt” someones feelings.  I had to say something that would definitely make someone not like me.  I would be altering this persons life.

BUT….I did it!  It was one of the hardest and FREEING things I ever did!

It was my journey of finally truly starting the process of  healing from other past hurts, abuses, pains!

This began my passion of building myself up.  Of building other women up.  Of truly becoming and respecting this self that God intended me to be!
To be fabulously feminine!

Thus, I vowed when I had my daughter, I wanted to teach her God’s love, God’s way we should be respect, God’s way of being loved: truly loved!

I know as a parent I can’t “protect” her from ever being victimized.  From ever feeling objectified. But, I can work my hardest to armor her properly; To teach her how she should be respected and loved.  My husband, her daddy, can take her out on “dates” and ensure she experiences how a woman, a girl should be treated.

We all have our part, our responsibility, in ensuring we are all treated with dignity, with respect, with AGAPE!

This is what I want for my daughter.

The beauty about my “phat pat” journey is I don’t look back and think bitter or angry or defeated thoughts!  I know God took those experiences in my life and made them good.  I grew, learned, and healed from them. Making me  much more aware of why we as women must demand respect for our core of being a woman….a true woman!  And we can do it with dignity, with grace, and with authority.  

When we do this we are excellent examples to ourselves, other women, to our daughters! 
 And that to me is a sure fire way to minimize and lower the statistics or chances of my daughter ever being victimized.  

She is an amazing strong warrior who right now knows she is made beautifully.  She knows how she should and shouldn’t be treated.  She knows how to speak up and demand respect.  I want to ensure she stays that way!  

If my journey helps me be a better teacher to her in this matter…
If my journey gives me the tools to make her stronger and more apt to say “No!” to inappropriate objectification….
…then I find nothing but beauty and glory in my journey!!!

  It is my journey.  But I do not want it for her!  I want her to stay as unblemished as possible!

Men:  Please do your part in guarding not only your eyes, but also your actions in ensuring you are truly respecting the dignity of women around you…..especially the special women in your life!

Women:  I beg you….command respect for your physical self so you can have respect in your mental health and a peace with your spiritual health!

I would love to hear your thoughts….your story….
Growing and learning together strengthens us…..and sharing is the most healing, empowering, strengthening action you can ever do!

Flex your healing power today to strengthen YOUR armor for Christ!

Blessings and prayers always,
~K 🙂

Daniel Fast: Day 11

2 DAYS TIL CHRISTMAS!

Today we offer up this fast for…

For families who live in abusive relationships…who have NEVER felt a loving hand or touch…who truly need to experience the miracle of Christmas!

We Pray:

1 Lords Prayer
1 Hail Mary
1 Glory Be

Silently add any other intentions!

Spend about 5-10 minutes with the Lord!

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