I use to compare my legs to my husband’s legs.
And If I am truly honest with myself there are times I still do….especially if I’m having a really low, triggering…dysmorphic type of day.
***Dysmorphia has you focusing on a part of your body that you perceive as flawed…for me, it was always my legs.
I would look at his legs and think:
- Why can’t I have the same striations?
- Why are his legs leaner?
- Why do I have to have bulky/thick muscles?
- He’s the man, his should be bigger than mine.
When he used to weight train… and lift really heavy years ago, I would encourage his obsession of getting bigger…..so I could feel better about my own body….how messed up is that?
I was encouraging his own distortions and discontent with his body so I could feel better about mine.
There was a brief moment in our marriage when my body was ravaging itself due to hyperthyroidism and adrenal collapse. I was literally wasting away and losing muscle mass by the moment on my legs….yet it was only in that brief moment about a year that my legs were “smaller”.
And you know what?
I was still not happy!
I am able to look at his legs and know he has his own insecurities….but most important I am able to look at him and love him and his legs without coveting what he has.
Ironically his legs are probably the leanest they have ever been yet the strongest because of his BJJ (Brazilian Ju-Jitsu) training. And mine, are not quite the biggest they have ever been but not the smallest yet they are definitely the strongest they have ever been because of my love for my kettlebell routines.
So now when I see our legs side by side….I don’t say, “Ugh my legs are ‘fat’” or look at his legs and covet them and go into the “I wish…”
I am, instead, so grateful that we each have exercise routines that we both are passionate about that keep us happy, healthy, and strong.
And that, in my opinion, is truly the best way to love the skin I am in.
May your day be filled with amazing peace and joy.
And please never forget just how beautifully made you are!
Many blessings and hugs always,
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