It’s going to be Valentine’s Day this weekend…
It’s the holiday for mushiness…love….romance…gooeyness….
And instead I’m thinking about how I haven’t received a text from my dad reminding me to call him and touch in with him.
We had this thing….he would send me a goofy emoji letting me know to call cause he knew I would get caught up with loving my life with my family and ministry that I would lose track of time.
It has been almost 2 months since his death. It still feels surreal. It’s not the kind of surreal that some talk about in thinking the person they have lost is going to all of a sudden appear… more the surreal that I KNOW I’m not going to hear his encouraging words and love ever again and some days it feels really really heavy.
My dad and I didn’t have a perfect relationship but it was beautiful in that I never felt judged by him. I knew I could share with him any of my flaws and he never ever scolded me or made me feel bad about them.
He cheered me on for raising a daughter to be an independent thinker and for homeschooling her.
He encouraged me when I wanted to go into business.
He soaked up all the turmoil of this last years events with me and never thought I was crazy to believe what I believed about what was going on with the shut downs, the virus, election, and more…..
He wasn’t perfect but he loved life in a way that was so big and giving. and he was truly how I learned how to never see the darkness of a situation. To always see the hope and even joy in the circumstances.
So this weekend I am going to continue to allow myself to feel all the emotions and not try to push them down. And if it means I do nothing but read or watch some Gilmore Girls…then that’s okay!
But most important is I am going to honor my feelings, my emotion, allow them to flow because that is the key to healing….that is the key to health….and that is the key to hope!!!
Have an amazingly blessed weekend!
Hugs and prayers always,