Women who have given birth understand the real range of pain their body and even their emotions and mind go through during those last moments before they deliver their beautiful baby after 9 months of carrying them, loving them, nurturing them, and protecting them.

I did carry my beautiful baby girl but I actually never felt the labor pains because I had to have a c-section…..BUT my “labor pains” were presented in other ways….

Why am I talking about labor pains?  I have been reflecting on this ALOT recently because of the last 9 months.  Depending on where you live will depend on if you have truly been dealing with all this upheaval for a full 9 months, more than 9 months, or the shorter end of about 7 months…..either way it has been WAAAY too long!

And the true labor pain is around the corner in a little over 30 days.

I think anyone who doesn’t see how the election is connected to how COVID is tearing apart our families, our communities, our health, our faith…..well is naive or truly doesn’t want to see what is going on.

I know I haven’t been on here much this year… I stated in a previous posting,  SILENCE ON SUNDAY, I felt there was really nothing new I could add to the chatter and all those who are out there sharing all their opinions and thoughts.   But I realized I was wrong…..I can add something…..we all have someone we resonate with.  Information that resonates with us.  And if my perspective and my sharing my journey through all this insanity can help even one person then I realized I need to quit not showing up here.  Because believe me I have sooo much to share.  I have gone through more emotions than I can possibly list.

And as one of my favorite bloggers, BEAUTY BEYOND BONES, has said in her posts often it is……I too am not one of those bloggers who write a whole bunch of stuff ahead of time and schedules it out…..I write at the moment just like she does.  It might not be the most efficient way to have a blog but just like her, I write what is going on emotionally in the moment and how can you pre-write that… can’t……and if I am going to share with all of you my heart well it needs to be in the moment!

The funny thing is I have “written” a blog post for you all almost every day of the week in my head this year…..especially the last 7 months.   But I just haven’t’ put it down on paper.  Why?  Again I thought “they are already hearing this”, “who wants to hear one more thing about what is going on”, and “I don’t want to write about the facts or data or yuck of it”……why I thought I had to share other than how I have always shared here, I have no idea!  But no more….cause I have so much to share and I am committing to showing up at least once a week again.

Back to labor pains….another blogger I follow MARK MALLET has been writing some amazing posts about what is really going on with all this….the spiritual connection to everything…..and one of his amazing posts was actually called THE LABOR PAINS

I recently had a friend I hadn’t seen for months reach out to me after Mass and ask me if I was a…oh am I a hugger!  I hugged her with the intensity as if my life depended on it.  And I lost it. Meaning I started to cry…a cleansing freeing cry!   She had nooo idea all I had been experiencing the last 7 plus months…..and she was so sweet trying to ask me if I was okay.

Which is really a double edge question I think for all of us.  Are we really okay?  

The first big issue I have with everything going on is how we have been told to not touch others….to not get near each other…..blah blah blah….it has fed fear and it has increased mental health issues over the last 9 months.

TOUCH….we were made for TOUCH, FOR COMMUNITY….it is healing….touch brings down our fight or flight physically, mentally, emotionally…..touch is even so important for our soul!

I am tired of going for a walk and seeing people take a wide way around me….and even wearing masks OUTSIDE!!!!

I am tired of the hate….the shaming….the bullying….

I am tired of hearing from some that after the election all will go back to “normal”….

I am not a “Debbie downer”…..but I am also not a “PollyAnne”……

I have “seen” and felt the true battle that is going on since February…..and it has been a deep hurt within my heart and soul knowing that others don’t see it…..and even worse look at me like I am “crazy”…..

So what gets me through all this?  MY FAITH!!!  My relationship with GOD!  And knowing that I have a choice:  I can choose to give in to despair even pretend it is all okay…… OR I can face it head-on…..recognize and acknowledge even the darkest feelings of this time and see GODS love…..FEEL THE HOPE….turn to GRATITUDE and KNOW God never permits something if it won’t benefit us!

As you enter into your new week….how are you counting your blessings, counting your gratitudes?  How have you been holding up during 2020? 

Many hugs, prayers, and blessings as always,

Kelly 😉

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