ONE TOO MANY

I couldn’t wait til Wednesday to share my most recent chapter…..mostly because I know I didn’t “show up” last week :)….It feels like I have been doing a lot of that recently.  Trying to find balance in life isn’t always easy…lol.  I found myself wanting to do everything else other than sit and write.

It’s a new season of life: summer.  Which means it’s shifting into summer activities with my daughter’s education and goals.  One would think it would be easier, lighter, therefore more time for me to write.  But instead I find myself wanting to hang out and do things with her.  Help her ponder life decisions.  She amazes me with her profound insight of life.  And when I look at her I pray with an intensity that I think all parents can relate to:  Lord please help her to stay on the narrower path better than I ever did.  Help her to stay strong and hear only YOUR voice and not the chatter of the world.

Thus my only true excuse for some of the things I just didn’t get done last week that I had desired to accomplish was I chose to connect with my daughter instead of connecting with everyone else…lol.

This brings us to my next chapter….a chapter that unfolds my beginning of missing the mark as Christoper West explains so beautifully with his ministry and teachings on Theology of the Body!

May it bring peace and healing to any and all who need to forgive and love themselves for missing the mark in life choices!

My prayers and blessings always for each and all of you!

Kelly 🙂

chapter 6

CHAPTER 6:

One Too Many

 My first boyfriend led to too many boys.

I fought my parents when I was 15 to date.  I was “in love”.  I had grown up with this boy.  We knew each other from church and he gave me special attention.  I felt so grown up around him.  I was in junior high and he was in high school.  We were in choir together and got paired up to harmonize together quite often.  I loved being around him.  He made me feel special.

My parents finally acquiesced.  I am honestly not even sure why.  Our relationship was simple, sweet, and “just” a little kissing here and there.  But then we started to cross boundaries.  I remember him telling me that his older siblings had suggested that we weren’t normal, we were too prude, because we weren’t at least touching each other.  After all it was rationalized we were still “virgins” if we didn’t “do it”.

This was an aha moment for me as a developing woman.  What started to become distorted even more so in my mind was:  I am a sexual being and in order to get what I want in life I must use my body to get it.  I started to push the boundaries of what to wear and how to wear it.  Which further created another layer of shame and lack of self-love.

Well this experience led me start dating too many boys.  I spiraled down a road of willingness to put myself into situations and dates that were potentially dangerous and risky.  Since my shame was so thick and I felt so unlovable and not free I felt I couldn’t say no to the boys who wanted to touch me in lust.  After all I didn’t say no before so how could I say no now.  And I wasn’t having sex so what harm was it really.

Cumin/Peppermint/Patchouli essential oils will create a blend to unlock the pain of past choices, to have peace with your body.

CUMIN:  When we find ourselves confused with choices and decisions we can start to doubt ourselves.  We need to clear our head to realize we can make good decisions.

PEPPERMINT: This oil will help a person find the strength to heal from those choices we aren’t always proud of.  Sometimes we need to feel renewed, discover joy and strip away the disheartened feelings that can way us down from our choices.

PATCHOULI:  As we strengthen ourselves to face our emotions of our choices we are able to release the emotional judgment we may be put upon our body.  We are able to find peace and appreciate our body once again.

Diffuse these three oils together or create a roller bottle so you can place them on pulse points.  These are especially powerful oils to tap with.  They will encourage amazing emotional release through your prayer and tapping.

Prayer:

Lord I will remember your promise in Ephesians 4:24… put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness. Oh Lord, I will reflect on these words this day and remember that you don’t hold on to the things of past, so I should not as well.  I will remember your promise in Isaiah…Behold, I am doing a new thing; Lord I know that I have strength to not look behind me because you want us to only look forward….with your love I will judge myself no more…..I will discover the joy of all the amazing decisions I have to look forward to in my present and future. Decisions that aim for you, aim for being the best version of myself. Thank you for your love, thank you for your grace, your mercy, your everything.  Amen

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