I was reading an email the other week from Dr. Isabelle Wentz. She was sharing about her healing journey. It use to be difficult for her to look at pictures of herself being too thin while she was getting to the root cause of her Hoshimoto’s.
It was interesting for me because for the longest time the opposite was true for me. My thyroid storm didn’t just trigger my genes for the Hashimoto’s it became a trigger for my dysmorphia. Something I had worked really hard to put into its own “remission”. It was brought back into full force.
It had taken me years to finally not believe the lies the enemy was whispering in my ear about me not being beautiful and worthy, of not being skinny enough, not strong enough, not muscular enough. He played on my wounds and shame from being sexually victimized a large part of my childhood into my early adult years.
I thought I had broken free from the lies but then when my thyroid storm took place and my body dropped down to 97 pounds I couldn’t be happier,or so I thought. I had to get really honest with myself when I was first on my true healing journey. I was able to remember when I was 97 pounds thinking “ooo maybe I can get to 95….maybe 90.” What the heck?!
So when I went to my friend, a nutrition coach to help me figure out why I couldn’t sleep, why I was so tired, why some days I was sleeping 12-14 hours, why I was putting on weight, and why I felt crazy. I knew I wasn’t really wanting to solve the problem of all the symptoms. I just wanted to be 97 pounds again.
I remember early in my healing from Hashimoto’s journey, I would get so frustrated and think, “Well hell if I am going to have symptoms I would would rather feel like crap at 97 pounds versus feeling like crap at 117 or 125 pounds.”
I actually don’t know what my weight is today and that is a story I will save for next week :)….
I have clarity now when I see my healthy vibrant body. I see what it has gone through. And how much it has healed: mind, body, soul, spirit. My body deserves my love and respect.
I have been reading an amazing book: “You’re Not Crazy And You’re Not Alone: Losing the Victim, Finding Your Sense of Humor, and Learning to Love Yourself Through Hashimoto’s”, by Stacey Robbins. A quote that really resonates with me today is: “I care more about my adrenals now than the size of my thighs!”
That is so true.
Do I still get triggers!? Absolutely. The enemy doesn’t rest. He desires for me to turn away from God and how better to try to do that than to take my past traumas, twist it into a mental disconnect, twist it with a thyroid condition, and try to convince me that I am not beautiful just as I am.
But now when I have a trigger I stop, renounce the lie and fill myself with the Holy Spirits strength. I find the Essential Oil that relates to the emotions I am feeling and I then practice EFT, tapping. I tap it away!
I give thanks to God for all these amazing gifts He has provide for me, for all of us, to help us learn how to continually battle the enemy.
Now, when I see a woman with legs that I may find myself coveting (whether super thin or beautifully thick and chiseled) I stop and bless her. Then renounce, oil up, and tap.
On Saturday I’ll share a self care routine of oils and tapping. How to help support yourself through triggers. Until then reflect on what are your triggers?
How can you support yourself to not give into the lies? Sit with it….pray about it….journal about it…..share with me about it!
Many blessings and hugs always dear beloved ones!
PS…..Are you open to learning more about healing and support through dysmorphia and or Hashimoto’s or just learning how to love yourself better!? I would absolutely love to hear from you!
Message me through Facebook or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.